A New Beginning

2009-01-01T18:49:00.001+08:00

HEY GUYS! (:

here's my new blog! check it out, kay? its been sooo long!ahahha. take care and have a great year!

http://www.that-soundtrack.blogspot.com

2008-11-19T13:25:00.001+08:00

BLOG OFFICIALLY CLOSED.
will be gone for some time, but when my new blog is ready, i'll drop u guys&girls my link at ur respective tagboards. till then!

2008-11-18T15:15:00.002+08:00

hey guys. amazing race's photos can be found in syak's blog. (: so u guys can peep over to his bloggy, to see the piccy. ahahah. (: however, be prepared, not to laugh ur heads off. (: ahahha! (: and and and. here's an important announcement. i'm shutting down my blog! bleahs! but not to worry, there's a new one! YAYY! hahha. LOLS. shall update lotssa pics down there. wokay? shall give u guys the link a.s.a.p! (: tooooodles!

2008-11-13T12:49:00.002+08:00

I saw some photos in Linda's facebook. and then, i saw a whole load of this. ahha. seriously, its worth laughing for. i really miss them. ):
i wonder how they are doing now. the last time i saw some of them was raya, and not all of them. oh wells. some of them are in nepal, australia. hais. no matter wad, i hope they are having a blast! (:

after graduation ceremony. i still remember hareez's enthusiasm while taking this photo. ahha. u can see that thru his pose. ahah! shyaq, kaki mantain uh! hahah. LOVE U GUYS!
this was just after the ceremony. ahha. i still remember that we were told to pose, but in the end, i pulled hafiz's tie. and that was impromptu. (: ahaha. above, mr lim and mr chin. (:and yes, we got back our report books & read mr asmadi's gift! awesome.

mr asmadi and mr chin!!! haha. this whole gang, simply gave mr asmadi a tough time. hahaha. (: everyone of us remembered his class. (: who doesnt, anyway? haha.

p.s: dun ask me what the hell im trying to do.

just before gradution ceremony. (: i was holding to this file cause i was suppose to give the speech on the behalf of 4e3! ahhaha. (: shyaq was carrying my bag. thanks, dude!

just got together. i think for a month or two? haha. linda snapped this, i guess. ahaha. (: gerald's hair forever dragonball-ing. ahahha! i miss that moment. really.

he was telling me... "eh, i wear tie. i also got."

and i remembered replying.. "eh, i wear tie everyday, with the tie pins and all. i'm sick of it."

and he said... "but i dun have to do duty. u have to."

i walked away. ahhahahahah!

those were the times, isnt't it, my friend?

2008-11-04T13:13:00.010+08:00

Okay. Here are more photos. (: as promised.
hold on. did i even promise? ahahha.
wadever. enjoy guys. (:

Post-Celebration of Birthday.

mum and dad at marina barrage. haha. we were at the place where i took the cruise with gerald on my bdae. (pictures below)
oh-so-unglam

chai chee. we sure ordered lotssa food!

makan makan makan!

Beach Day with Famz and Relatives

some say i was too berat. but wth! hahaha. syakir snap this photo too early! ahahha. we DID jump, okay!

syakir and mirah! (:

mum was blocked here. ahaha. thanks to all my wonderful cousins! aha!

aliyah! (: sweetest thing ever. however, its difficult to win her heart u knw! (:

another one

JB with Fam and Relatives

you cant get to see mirah laugh or smile often. so, here's a credit. ahahaha! (: [she is sooo gonna skin me alive, i think] hahaha!

stulang!

family joke. dun bother to explain.

yeah. Giordano ambassadors. Thanks to mum. freakin unglam ,btw.

me, adik, mum, ayie!

18th BIRTHDAY

Presents from Aqidah!! (: perfumes! (:

Glow by JLo, and corvet by sarah jessica parker.

With a nice short wish on the card. (:

Love u alot, darling.

a gift form gerald. picture frame which glows in the dark,. gorgeous, i tell u.

pins from disneyland hongkong, and a card from precious thoughts.

sweet. memorable. other than that, no comments.

and nope. this is not porn. this is a GIFT from my FABULUS cousins. muhd syakir and nur amirah. hahah. nah kau. full name aku credit-kan. ahahhaha!

yeah. they asked me to get slim soon, which im trying to do so, but to no avail.

anyway, thanks guys. love u alot!

and thats's the box they gave. (: inside them........ oh well. GOD KNOWS how i feel. the pictures above are contradicting. hmmmmmm.

(syakir and amirah. u sure knw wad i mean.)

flowers from gerald

yes. gerald surprised me on a cruise trip. yeah. CRUISE, the one on sea. bleahs.

was very shocked though. haha.

we board it at 6.30pm.

we had dinner in there. buffet. (tell me how to lose weight liddat.)

yeah. ahaha.

food was okay. (:

say hi.

it's a chinese cruise. okay. lazy to explain. nice theme. as in.. so cultured. ahah.

there goes the buffet. lotssa koreans.

and yes, food is halal.

thats y i called him typical tourist

buffet!

thats the one we took. seriously, cultured. i like.

filled with history. i like.

all aboard!

up there. taken by a korean guy.

before the cruise, we went to watch a movie. and then secret recipe for a cake session! (:

okay. shuddup everyone. seriously, i put this up due to some aliens out there. seriously.

hello, burfday girl. (:
and one thing i like about burfdays, i never have to spend a single cent! (:

thanks gerald..! (:

2008-10-24T20:26:00.006+08:00

OKAY! hahah. here u go. oh well, i only selected some of the hari raya photos. i cant possibly squeeze EVERYTHING in here right? ahaha. (: yeah.
as for my 18th, i will upload tmr. cause looks like blogger is giving me attitude again.

and and and, everyone asked about gerald. haha. oh wells, let's put it this way. it's complicated, okay? i dint say that im happy this way, or... i dint say im sooooooo upset either. it's just complicated. as for now, after not talking or meeting for quite some time, i guess things turn out better, as in.. we're good as friends. getting back together is a different thing i suppose. for that to happen, time will tell all. (: but if u guys see us arnd, dun be shy to say HI! hahhaa. till then ppl. (:

aunt hse. raya day 1. ahahah. see those 4? i LOVE them.
he's trying his best to be MAN.

oh, helloooo SYAWAL!

i caught him DIGGING HIS NOSE just before seeking forgiveness. SOOO UNGLAM.

she's playing with the coaster. hahah! Nurin!

I dunno why, but bro kept doing UNGLAM stuffs during this year's raya. ISH. maintain uh.

Hobby since young.

hey there. we're NOT sisters, mind u.

sya, muka classic! hahahaha. and btw, that cousin of mine, simply rocks.

my place. makan, makan, makan.

I LOVE MY BEDSHEET. ayie and bro always have those illegal gatherings in my room. ahaha!

wani, her sis, me, her bro. ahahha! (: mum's best friend's kids. haha! or wadever u call that.

hahahhhaahhaha! was forced to.

mummmmyyyyy and me.

they were awesome at my place. ahha. trupti (the hindiiiiii girl), SK (the blur sotong), Leo (riddle guy), edwin (the giant. he's damn tall btw.) ahahha. and lastly, me!

told ya i'll shoot SK one day!

oh, leo! hahahha.

my place again, and here comes the MAT(s). ahhahaha. azlan,fadhil,syafiq, shyaq, hafiz mat noh, ,me, hareez. (; they are just like brothers to me. (: thanks guys. (for finishing up the mee) hahaha!

get wad i mean? hahaha. (:

if its love u are talking about, then meet me under the tree

where our love was young and innocent

im sure you'll be there.

definitely sure.

2008-10-24T10:23:00.002+08:00

i wanna thank to those who wished me happy bithday!!!!
im sooo blessed to be with you guys!
((:
i will update my blog tonight, okay? ((:

GERALD IS SO GAY TODAY. (:
sorry guy. haaahahahahahhaahahaahah!
my ex-bf is preety crazy. (:

2008-10-07T16:44:00.002+08:00

i wish i can have the right words to say.
i want to talk. i want to shout it out loud. but i then realized that i could only mumble. only mumble to myself.

sorry not not updating. for those who tagged me, hey. not to worry. i'll be fine. (: hahaa.
pictures of raya will be uploaded real soon.
my next update will be on 22 oct. till then, u guys can ignore this blog. (:

2008-09-22T23:12:00.002+08:00

before i get excited, let me finish wad i need to update on.

so.. Day 3 without him.
Yesterday (Sunday)
i was so damned tired and all. bt still, i miss him and told mum tat i wanna make another kueh. thanks to all the hari raya songs that's playing on air. hahaha. it simply motivates me to make another one! hahaha. dad and mum busy painting the hse. so.. we're left with decorating the house with mats and carpets.. and.. the christmas lights outside our house, the corridors.. and arrange the kuehs! hahahhahahaha! yaay. i cooked for buka (break fast). cause mum and dad need to buy the dining table. haha. so bro and i cooked for buka! ((: we cook prata, sardines, fry the nuggets, the fish fingers and im about to start with the fried rice, and mum came back from ikea. hahaha. ((: at night, dad set up the dining table. ahhaha. it was tough on him. he wash both van and car, painted the house and collect the dining table and even set it up. good job dad! ((: mum is having wild ideas in her head... on how to decorate the hse. (: haha. so cute. and my bro? he's good-for-nothing. really. he simply baring (lie down) and watch tv. hahahah. hopeless creature on earth. i find him BULKY at home. ugh. hah. his PSLE is drawing nearer and i think im the one having the heart attack instead of him. yeah. so everyone slept real early that night. was toooo tired. (:

so TODAY, i met aqid awhile (: and finish up my STUPID PP. haha. hey girl, follow ur heart, kay? really. remember wad i say. i hope it helps. (: i was waiting for gerald love to msg me or something.. bt den, i got a feeling that he will come back late at night, just like the time he went china. haha.
i was busy doing my PP and then i got a few messages from shyaq and aqid. suddenly.... the hp rang. WITHHELD. i thought its my cousin or something, cause it's like.. private number? haha. i picked up the phone and for a second or two, i cant recognize the voice. i was busy reading the words on my lappy's screen. and then...
"oh my god, it's u, gerald." hahahahahaha.
my heart jump for joy, i tell u. hahahaha. ((: so sweet of him to callllll... hahaha. he told me that his ho went bonkers and he's at the airport. he told me that he went to search for a nearby phone just to call me, telling me he reached safely. hahahah. ((: im happy, and suddenly feel motivated to do PP. ahhaha. talked to him for about 5 mins. (: den he told me he gotta go and find his sister first. shall msg me when he reached home. ((: <3
15 mins later, i send Andy my PP and upload it on the portal. i hope.wish.pray that it will be accepted!!! good God, pls, help me with this. (:

and here i am. photos shall be up real sooon. (: i gotta go now, ppl (: hahahhaa! (u shud knw how happy i am. dammit.) hahahahha~! (:

2008-09-20T23:09:00.003+08:00

some pictures to accompany with.

gerald love went to Hong Kong last thurs. oh well, i wasnt feeling that good on that day. my head was spinning like crazy and my stomach kept on churning. ugh. so before he left, he gave me a call and we talked a while. by that time he was at terminal 3 alrd. and yeah. den he told me that he will call back. but i totally forgotten about it. told u i was not being sooooooooooo myself on that day. haiss. but i managed to get him on the line. he was going in the plane when i called him. lucky he havent off his hp yet. and then... he said nth much. simply... "i'll miss you"

Day 1 without him.
Last Friday, i went to sch as per normal and class was fun. i had theatre appreciation and well, things went turned out pretty normal. yeah. i went back with syakir. he took the bus and i took the train. for the first time after sucha long time, i went back STRAIGHT home. as in.. didnt visit any shop or have some detours or something. so as soon i tapped my ezlink, i plugged in my mp3. oh wells. im bored. i managed to get a seat tho. hah. adik (younger bro) called me. and he told me that we'll be breaking fast at home as aunt went to the clinic and she's not feeling well. ok. so mum bought donuts and nasi ayam penyet back home. everyone was tired and we didnt talk much.
and one thing for sure, i miss him ALOT. i totally felt helpless.

Day 2 without him.
Saturday (today), mum decided to make kueh for hari raya. so in the end, she made choco chips, using family recipe, and i went over to aunt hse, make for her choco chips too, but my own recipe. haha. when i came back,mum make 3 types of kueh alrd. wahhhhhhhhhhh! hahaa.. so today, we decided to break fast outside, since everyone is tired doing their stuffs. we went bedok corner to eat. ok lah. we got a seat coz we went there early. den we proceed to ikea. we're purchasing this new dining table!!! YAAY. hahaha. nice, i tell u. so sweet. just for the 4 of us. oh well, it's wooden. not like ours now, glass. its nice, but... it's been like.. centuries since we bought that. hahaha! ((: so tmr mum and dad will go back to ikea not by car, but by van, to bring the set home. haha. we can purchase it just now if we want to, but since we went there by car, we dont want it to be bulky. hahha! ((:
and another thing for sure, i miss him more and more. not only felt helpless, but.. lost.

so i have no plans for tmr, but syafiq beep me just now to ask whether im free next wed. wanna break fast together with the 4e3 clique and aqidah. hahaha! of coz my ans is a yes! hahaha. and this time round, aqid could tag along tooo! yaaaaaay! ((: ahha. and by that time, gerald love will be backkkkk! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! :D so im sure he will break fast with us tooooo!

hahaha. ok then. i wanna rest. its been sucha longgg dayyyy. hahaha. i need my beauty sleep.or else, i couldnt wake up for my pre dawn meal. hah. take care then. (:

2008-09-16T14:48:00.002+08:00

JUST TO CLEAR EVERYONE'S DOUBTS, I AM NOT QUARELLING WITH MY COUSIN, MUHAMMAD SYAKIR. (:

well, im in class right now and patrick is realy cute. hahah. he asked nice questions and the way he approach us is so damn NICE. hahaha. i dunno how to describe it. but u knw how doctors talk? hahha. like.. soft but.. can assure u that kind of thing? hahaha. damn cool lah. hahha. ((:

LEO is down and i hate it. stupid online thing. and MSN is gay today. really. nope. not e-buddy, aqidah. hahaha! ((:

okay. now it's the last team to present. get it over and done with. till then!

2008-09-15T09:57:00.004+08:00

GOOOOD MORNINGGGG WORLD.

im in class right now and audra is pregnant!!! hahaha. congrats to her! hahhaha. she's gorgeous, even though she's a bit pale. hahahahha. so today's module, visual communication is fine. hahaa. (: really. (: maybe gerald will fetch me from sch today. hahaha. (: ok then. wanna do my stuffs. (: take care all. and oh ya! this song, by jason mraz simply makes my day.!
anyway, the following paragraphs are just rants from my brain. hahahhaa. im not angry, but i think im just typing down wad's in my head! ((: hahah!

i thought i could gave in to them. but u wanna knw wad? i just realize something.
we all lead a totally different lifestyle. and i mean it, damn it.

i lead my own life. and im so happy with my loved ones around. dad, mum, bro, aqidah, gerald and my 4e3 clique. these are the people who really knew wad goes in and out of my brain, without me telling them. they provide me with things which i want and i need. i dun let words and their thinking bring me down. in fact, anyone can bring me down with their says. but wth. it's my life and im happy abt it. but if u dun, den wad could i say?
my family, all 4 of them, had been with me ALWAYS. nth could replace that. aqidah and my 4e3 clique seriously rock my world. i love them. as in.. we hang out, do awesome stuffs. not to mention gerald love. nt only he is part of my 4e3 clique, but someone more special. i dunno wad can i do without him. really. there are other kind souls outside there too. just that i dun spend as much time as i do with those above.

i can consider myself lucky. my family gave all the love i need. all the things that i own, it all comes from them. the way i dress to the things that i do, all thanks to their bringing up. they might be a bit difficult to handle sometimes, but with a silent prayer, everything seems to be fine.
aqidah and my usual 4e3 clique define friendship for me. i couldnt say more. gerald gave me a kind of love that i never felt before. wad more can i say now?

im not trying to limit my frends. but hey. seriously, i have my own lifestyle and im sooooooooo happy about it. im NOT boasting. ( but i dun think telling how much u love people considered boasting. ugh. wadeva shit. )

so to those people who need help with their life, dun come to me in anger. as much as u want help, is as much i want to help u too. but before u even flare up, just get the facts right. nope. im not referring to anyone in specific. but based on the things that i've went thru, i sincerely open up to doors of friendship (or even family-ness), but if the way u approach me is something that i feet is not right, den im so sorry. i cant do much. and also, if the problems that u are telling/giving me is based on someone else, den, im shuttin my ears. u can clear some doubts, but dun EVER, drag me in, as if that's my bloody problem. if u think u got attitude problem, fix it. i do have some problems with my attitude too. but hey. IM TRYING. but so far, to be honest, i dun think i give trouble to others. my family knws best, aqidah and gerald knws best. and these are the people, that i wish to spend my entire life with.

with that, fix urself up before u jump into stupid conclusions.

2008-09-12T09:51:00.003+08:00

now i realized what mr asmadi meant when he said. " if u wanna do something, do it once and for all, giving ur best shot."

how i wish someone could hear the things that i wana explain. it seems like there are 1001 things in my ming right now. everything seems HOPELESS.

i really miss bartley. really.

shucks. im stuck. im lost for words. ugh.

today's module is theatre appreciation. and today's problem statment is about interpreting an image and write a story. how i wish i could write MY story based on the image in MY head.

till then.

2008-09-08T23:47:00.004+08:00

happy belated bdae, love.

Look into your heart you will find

There's nothin' there to hide

Take me as I am take my life

I would give it all I would sacrifice

Don't tell me it's not worth fightin' for

I can't help it there's nothin' I want more

Ya know it's true

Everything I do I do it for you

first and foremost, i would like to apologize. i've been suchan ass for not updating. hais. seriously, i was busy.

ugh. wadever. new sem started and nth change for the better. still the same.

it's now the month of ramadhan. and i got a feeling that this will be a fast one. actually, im kinda scared of the time. sometimes, it pass by too fast for me to breathe. hais. so to all muslims, jia you! u got roughly 3 more weeks to fast! hahahaha. ((:

and and and. happy belated bdae to my dearest love. (: breakfast with syafiq, shyaq, min, hafiz and him the other day. sooo sad gf cant make it due to band. hais. i totally know how she feels. hais. nvm! next time, kay?

now, let me self-complain about PP. you guys can ignore the following paragraph. PP is suchan idiot. yes. idiot. it cant let me have my beauty sleep and my mind keep thinking about it more than love. yes, oh yes. that freaking 2000 word essay. its kinda irritating when someone ask u to keep revising on it. i wish/hope/pray it wil be over soon. freak.

love wil be out for chalet a few days and i dun think i can meet him. ): well, oh well. hais. nvm! told ya life is totally being extra UNFAIR to me lately.

oh ya! have i told u that my hair is growing?! hahhaha. yayyyyyy! ((: ok. super random. hah!

i beep aqidah today, due to someone. hahahha. and in the end, we cant stop talking abt him. LOLS. ((: he, with his funny and disgusting attitude. hahahahaha!

ok. done. i've updated. (:

2008-08-26T15:05:00.003+08:00

i dunno wad song should i insert into this blog. everything seems so blur. i cant think. ok. so, i went youtube and search for a song. and it lead me to this song. well, you know how far can you go in youtube. i ended up with A Beautiful Piano Song by Jervy Hou. he composed this song by himself. i felt that it's lovely. well, just to take a break from mainstream songs, or those you hear from mtv or perfect 10, i just want something light and.. please to hear. hah.

i always wanted to learn the piano. seriously. its interesting to see the player hitting those notes and produce awesome sound. this simply reminds me of either derek or sunarto. i still remember the time when i went back to bartley for band, and they taught me how to play Happy Birthday To You. haha. so sweet of them. since i stepped out from sec sch, i think i lost toch with music. really lost touch with it. i wanna play music once again. but i dunno where to begin now. hais. nvm.

its not that i dun wanna update this blog, but seriously, i duno wad else to write. nth BIG happened. hahah. if u get wad i mean. just that my relative got married to this north carolina guy. yeah. he kinda converted. his new name is raihan osbourne. hah. during the wedding, i was asked to be the video camera girl. ugh. but it was fun. i mean, i can get up close with the pair. hah. mind you, raihan is TALL and BIG. not bog as in fat, but simply.. BIG. hhaha.

i received my results and looks like 3 modules sucked big time. realy sucked big time! hah.

this thurs gf wil be coming over to my crib for some cooking session. haha. we decided to make roasted chicken (maybe with black pepper sauce), mashed potato and garden salad. and here comes the best part. for dessert, we're making double choco cake!! im sure we gonna have a blast, right aqidah? hahahhahaa! ((: mum, being kind enuff, decided to let us use the oven. hahahaha! YAAY. ((:

and tmr, im going out with dear. (: maybe last outing before the fasting month starts. he will end his paper on thurs and start workign on the very day after his papers. hais. next week will be start of the month of ramadhan. wahhhhhhh. time pass by so fasttt! i think this time round, it will be a fast one. not like last year. DRAGGY. ugh.

alright. shall end here. mum said that there will be this guy coming over to send her vouchers. i dunno wad is it. BUT, im kinda pissed. cause this guy is not here yet! ughhhhhhhhhh!

alright then. i shall wait. (: and wait, and wait.....

cause my life is all abut waiting, isnt it?

2008-08-20T22:41:00.002+08:00

love me the way u did.
brace me like the way u did.
tell me that things will turn out fine.
whisper me words of love.

and i'll be flying high with you.
how i wish. how i really wish.

2008-08-20T14:29:00.002+08:00

I SIMPLY HATE THINGS THE WAY IT IS RIGHT NOW.

can someone please tell me what should i do?

2008-08-18T21:39:00.003+08:00

I'M GETTING MORE AND MORE CONFUSED.

ignore the above sentence. so once again, i stayed at home for one whole day, doing nothing that i love to do. i did the luandry. ok. fine. i admit. i am a laundry virgin. by now, i think i should be okay handling the washing machine. hhhhaha..
managed to cook breakfast, clean up my room. my room have this green apple smell. yaaay! (: thanks to this air ventilator + air refreshener thing.
other than that, there was nothing that got me excited.
im tired and my head is like spinning.
& i dunno why. hais.
i think i wanna play SIMS. yes. NOW.
AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
again, ignore above and say bye to me. cause im saying bye to you. ugh~! wadever that means lahhh! IM TIRED. so ok. bye.

thanks qid. ur messages were helpful to me. i dunno wad can i do without you.

i'll be gone for now. i hope when the day comes, & when you turn around, you don't address me as your friend.

2008-08-17T21:56:00.002+08:00

it will be ok to say that yesterday i kinda had a blast going out with my fam. hahah. ((:
firstly, i visited grandpa. and he is wayyyyyyyyy much better now. hahaha. he can even eat putu piring. coool. ((: met my relatives there for a short while. chat, eat junk food (at the hospital, oh my. my grandad's ward have vacancy for just one more. )
after visiting him, we went afghanistan to eat. nope. we didnt catch any flight. its somewhere near tampines, i guess. (: hah. that time i was involved in the junior band fest as an official and i missed that outin with my family. hahaha. they went there to eat. well, i tried their food yesterday. not bad. ((: its like.. "can go twice" kinda thing. ugh wadever that means hahaha.
and den we went Giant at tampines. mum wanna buy groceries. ((: and as usual, there will be things that i wanna include in her list. and so, i made up my mind. i wanna bake. mum. being kind enuff, she let me buy my stuffs. to start off my week of cooking and baking, tmr i might be cooking fried rice for lunch and be making jelly cocktail for dessert. (:haha. after Giant, we proceed to IKEA. (:
we checked out some dining tables. mum wanna change them. (: yaaaaaaaay! (: ahhaa. bro, dad and i went to play 'when the price is right'. hahahhahaa. damn fun and everyone is looking at us. (: and and and.. guess wad i've bought? vanilla scented candles. (: ahhhh. i love the smell. i love the mixed berries ones too. but.. mum said i can only buy 1 for the moment. hahaha! so in the end, i bought 1. (: mum also bought some french wad? i forgotten. (gees, im old. DAMN.) all i know its like those blinds/binds that is meant for the kitchen windows. hahah. we gonna have a new makeover of the kitchen. yaay-ness! ((:

so today i did nothing much. lazy arnd. help mum cook, and i make some jemput-jemput pisang. i dunno how to put it in english terms, but its like banana fritters, i guess. hahahahhhaha! ok. so much as a writer. LOL. other than that, i sat arnd, make myslf bulky at home. ((: and obviously there's bro to irritate me. (:
to be honest, my lappy batt is running low. so i guess i shall end here. im reading another novel. (: toooodles. (:
BTW! congrats to team singapore, for winning SILVER in the table tennis womens competition against china. (such a nerve-wrecking game) hahahha! till then!

i am not happy with u if u ask me whether i am. go fix urself. im not running away from u. i got to do whatever i got to do. for once, i got nth to say. im happy cause i made myself clear this time round and i knw wad i want. but i dint say that im happy becos of this whole thing. let u be in the darkness now and feel a certain loss in your life. this time, everything seems bullshit to me. pure bullshit.

2008-08-15T22:23:00.002+08:00

This is not what I intended
I always swore to you I'd never fall apart
You always thought that I was stronger
I may have failed
But I have loved you from the start

i kept doing housework alone at home for the past 3 days. well, school's out and i totally switched into servant mode. sweep, vacuum, dishes, laundry and the corridors. ugh. i think mum should pay me. im turning into a part-time maid! well, i think in this case, full time. to take my mind off the housework awhile, i went swimming with bro just now. it started off fun but it ended up boring, so we headed home. ugh. hah. so.. nth much.
grandpa's condition got better and im so glad. dad and bro went to see him again today. but mum and i decided to stay at home. im so exhausted. tmr, i dunno wad plans mum and dad have but, i hope it will be an enjoyable one. mum said that she wanna have a steamboat at home. thanks for the diet plan though. (bleah).
i still have yet to upload the photos of ndp. but.. blogger is giving me an attitude. so, i shall not be bothered by that kinda crap. hence, i dun think i will upload any photos now. well, prolly i might not update photos for quite some time. hah.
i told u guys that im reading this book written by niki shisler right? she's awesome. she's frank, she's funny and the most incredible thing, she reach out to my heart. her words kinda play in my head for qiute some time. these 2 grabbed my attention though:
"What's the worst that could hapen? where does your darkest fear lie?"
"We need to belong to each other, to anchor ourselves in the web of relationships; so we build our networks, our families and we risk our hearts because that is what makes a life."
she ought to win some kind of an award or something. that book is all about her life. and i find it extraordinary. (:
SK asked me out for a run on sunday and ugh. i dun think i can make it. sorry sk, sorry leo. ugh.
wad else...... wad else.......
oh ya. i really find this random but wth. i wanna go jurong bird park and night safari. hah. i got 30% discount for the bird park and 50% discount for the night safari. hah. as usual, when geraldtan reads this,he sure wanna go. super kiasu bf of mine. (well, sometimes, luckily. not all the time). kiasu in a good way though. not those aunty and uncle kiasu. ugh. wadever that means. hah.
alright. i think i shall stop here. i seriously gt nth to write about. i dun wanna talk crap all the way. hah. okay then. night all. sweet dreams.

Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I won't live to see another day
I swear it's true

2008-08-13T21:58:00.004+08:00

i think im repeating this for the milionth time.
i miss my loooooooooong hair. ((:
haha. ok. so.. hols in, sch's out. great. awesome.
i got nothing much to write in here. hahaa. well, i think there are tons.
but.. im just plain lazy. hey. im a busy woman. (:
where should i start..................?

alright.
happy belated birthday to........ SINGAPORE. (: hahaha. celebrated her birthday at the padang with my cousins. had a great time there despite the downpour. awww. but seriously, with those kids arnd, they make my day! ((:

i've been preety busy with this stupid PP. but lucky im over and done with it! (for the first draft only) i dunno whether andy will ask for re-work. even if he is, i HOPE he wunt ask for much. ugh. but nvm. jia you! ((:

i bought two new books! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY. finally i can kill my time during hols readin books. u might be wondering why on earth i didnt borrow books from library. its because, your dear afifah simply couldnt return her books on time and in the end, she got fine by the NBL. go figure. (: so, i rather buy books & i could turn them into my very own collection. right now, im reading Fragile, by Niki Shisler. awesome writing.

bro will sit for his PLSE oral tmr. and i dunno why, im the one who is nervous. i pray/hope/wish that he could do well. i mean.. of coz i want him to go to the express stream just like me. but.. each to his own. his brain might not absorb more than mine? i dunno. i think being successful doesnt need u to be at the top, but being comfortable with the right thing u are doing and most imptly, you are enjoying it. (: so, whichever path adik choose, i wil be supporting him. during my PSLE and O level days, i never once care about wad ppl say. seriously. cause i knw wad's the best for me. i only seek advice from the teachers and my parents. other than that, i dun think im bothered to hear. thats why i cant understand why others come up to me and have multiple problems despite knowing wad is the root of the problem. they LISTEN to wad others say abt them soo much. ugh. nvm. skip that. as i say, each to his own. (:

grandpa just got admited to the hospital just now afternoon. and dad didnt even inform me. he informed me LATER. i heard the news from aunt. hais. mum came back from the office slightly earlier. and now, bro is sleeping and im here typing away. mum and dad called saying that they will be late. i hope grandpa is okay. hais. i cant imagine him going away. there will be no one to crack more jokes, no one to stop us from being loud at aunt hse, no one to scold us when we are playing soo loudly at the corridor. seeing him like this reminds me of late grandma. i really miss her. )): she's not only a grandma to me, but also a mother. i misssss her. i really do. i miss her cooking, her patience, her words, her soft voice, her smile, her laughter and the small actions she does in everyday life. oh god.

i think i shall stop here for today. i dun want to ramble on unnecessary things. my imagination is alrd getting wild. and i want to stop it here. just here.

will update soon in the days to come. pictures of NDP will be uploaded soon too. take care all and goodnight! ((:

2008-08-08T23:07:00.007+08:00

hhahahaha. okay. so... today was something rather interesting. yeah. i EVENTUALLY finish my PP and submit it to Andy for some checking. hahahah! and today i got some time to go back bartley! hahaha. with shyaq, aqidah and dear! hahahhaa. so funy lah! we saw lots and lots of ppl..! hahahaha. saw mr asmadi, ms soh, ms yong, mrs raj, mr concenciao and a few others! ahahaa. but sadly, mrs lydia yeo left for U.S alrd. ): thanks to shyaq for making me blur! hahahha.

i was sooooo excited and happy that i was able to step in 4e3 once again. (: i nearly burst to tears, i tell you. (: and.. yeah. hais. no matter wad, i think sec sch is the best! hahahaha. ((: here are the photos and.. yeah. hahaha.

oh ya! one more thing. tmr im going for ndp with sya, mirah, ayie, qilah and bro! hahaha. cousins outing! yipppee ai! hahhahaha. so happy. hahahha. ((: okay then. hmm. wad else..

oh. today is 08 08 08 right? hahaa. and dear and i did something FUN today. hahaha. try adding cheese to pepsi, and chilli to pepsi. (: cheese pepsi for dear, chilli pepsi for me. at the end of the day, he got me a chocolate! hahhaha. sweet! ((: nah, nth special for us on this day, but.. the date looks nice and we thought of doing something random! hahah. tiil then all!

haha. in class. (:
4eeeeee3!
im back to school. yaay!
she has been,always been, will be there for me. (:
the same exact place in mr asmadi's class!
and the chatters. (:
this. one used to be a stranger and turned out to be my all time good frend. another one used to be a stranger too and turned out to be my best frend.. and then....... u figure out urself. thanks.
oh yeah!

i TOLD u shyaq always got involved in student abuse. PPL, this is wad he does to me when i didnt do my maths questions PROPERLY, THE WAY HE WANT IT TO BE. bleahs!
spastic-ness.

when boredom strikes for the millionth time.
ahhhhh.
and this. picture perfect minus the tree. (:

ok.. nite ppl! and yup. the music. it's called.. jenny (867-5309) hahahhaha! i heard this first time on tv.. - don't forget the lyrics! (: you guys should catch it too!

2008-08-08T00:15:00.003+08:00

expired photos lah. hahah.

i love both of u!

my bro wahhhh.......... dah besar eh? LOL!

ok. short post here.
i LOVE my boyfy.
i MISS my cousin(s).
i HATE PP.
i DESPISE liars.
i ANTICIPATE the fasting month.

Im so tired. i need a break. good god, help.

2008-08-03T15:02:00.008+08:00

i know that i've promised to upload photos of dear and i. but.. looks like.. i got to really DIG OUT those pictures. hahahhaa. and i got no time! ugh. even this, is a quick update.
so yesterday bro, dear and i went to watch the ndp preview. nope. not at the stadium, but just somwher arnd raffles place.. to catch the plane show.. and the foreworks! i love my canon cam! hahhaha. i took fantastic photos of the fireworks! hahahha. ((; ok. here are the photos. there are more EXPIRED photos, but... as for now, this will do. (:

bro bro bro. ((:
dear with his good-for-nothing cam. hahahahahahahahah! (im so sorry dear! hahahhahahaha!)
"kakak, where will the fireworks be? i hope i wunt get bored cause as long as i have food, im okay with it." i was like.. WHAT?!
a-hah! this. no comments, actually. really. just that... its so..... BLUE. yeah. blue.
CAUTION: dear is trying to act cute. pls vomit, everyone. (: thanks.
awwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
minus the messy hair and that double chin, i think i'll look alright.
another one! hello, there.!
these 2. irritating buffalos. ((:

nice!
nicer
nicest!
hahahahhahahaha. if only the smoke is made up of different colours, i'll be the first one to jump in excitement!

nice, eh?

ahahahha! I LOVE
I LOVE #2

I LOVE #3

I LOVE #4!
Fullerton Hotel! hhahaa.
huge difference.

and then i proceed to syakir's hse! look at that cute baby! hahah. Nur Alisa. ((:

how passionate. hahahahahhahaha!

hahhahha. okay. that's all. take care all! ((:

2008-07-23T21:06:00.001+08:00

i'm so scared.
i feel like crying.
i wanna turn back the time now.
God, please help me. Just this once. Please.

2008-07-22T21:50:00.007+08:00

TIME TO GO BACK TO SECONDARY SCHOOL MEMORIES.

they say that each picture says a thousand words. haha. mine, i think wil turn into a book someday. ahhaha. enjoy.

people, this is me. i took this photo during lunch break time. as what the photo states.. it's at 12.20, 05 oct. hhahaa. was on thurs. hahaha. must be waiting for next period or something. hahaha. i dunno. but i knw all of us were having a break. hahaha. and... i decided to tie my hair into 2 pony tails.. and yeah. tadah! hahhaha. lucky mr chin didnt see me doin that. or else.. u see that tie and collar pins there? all wil be confiscated. hahahahahahahhaha! this is such a classic photo lah!
hah. this. i swear i forgotten when i took this photo. but all i can remember is that we were early for band, (i think) hahhaa. and i asked aqidah to take this photo. the drumset was in the store room cause the conductors wanted the percussion to practice on their own. haha. and i was like asking aqidah. "eh, can take photo right?" hahha. i was scared that valerie or the conductors will like.. "what are u doing?!" hahahahahhahaa. god and aqidah knows what happened. ahahha.
i think this is before POP. shud be lah. cause i still remember my hair like that. hahahaha. i forgotten how this photo is taken.. but.. all i know is that i love my sectionn!! wuuuu! hahhaha. nurul was like.. " eh. take again! again!" hahhahhaha.
and this. POP. ahahhaha. (: i swear i like this photo. hahahaha. so the senior face. hahahaha. i remember that we were sweating like nobody's business!! (: hahahahahha. i like. i simply like. hahaha. and after that everyone was like.. "alah.. O levels. -.-" hahahhaha.
ahhhhh. hahahaha. nurul said. "eh, hug ar! hurrry!!!"
all time favourite. hahahhaha. (: aqidah looks sooooo aqidah. hahahha. i think she look like a total kid. haha. i mean, Qid. hahahahahahahha!

ok. here's student council. my second big family besides band. hahaha. basically these are all my cheerleaders. (: hahaha. i shant name them all. ahhahaa. but maria, she's the best of all lah. she accompanied me thru the good and bad times. i love love love her! ahahha. the rest too! im sure all of them have growned up alot! (: i miss them so much now..... ):
hmmm. team leaders! hahhaa. for the pulau ubin trip, i think. ahhahaa. shirah is in RP, same with me. i miss kasidah and her sexay voice. hahaha. i miss anita a.k.a tigress. ahahhaa. when she shout and got angry, i bet u wouldnt want to disturb her. hahaa. and there's hairil. i miss him carrying my bag during the student leader conventional thingy. i forgot. but he's sweet lah. ahhahahaha. good old memories! (:

hahahhahahahahahahhahahaha. everyone, look at the second from the right! hahha. here's our cheerleading moments at serangoon stadium. (: hahaha. we came from a long long way, i tell u. ahhaha. for the second time, albert, our third year cheerleading trainer, was shocked to see our stunts. its all so wrong! hahahhahahaha. kanages(h). hahaha. i miss her. i forgot how to spell her name. hahha. but she worked so close with me last time. a good spotter. (: i like!! hahahhaa we were forever doing spotter and giving encouragement to all. (: hahahhha.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. GIVE ME THAT BODY BACK! hahaha. this is at bedok. hahaha. maria's sister need cheerleaders for some running event and one of the minister was there, i think. yeah. hahhaa. and guess wad? we earned $50 each! wuuuuuu. hahahahahhaha!
and here's the rest of us. (: hahahhahahaa. taken during sunset. (: i loike!!! (: hhahah. me, namira, felicia, sze ping and maria. these girls, i LOVE. (:

i hope i could turn back the time. i dun mind taking O levels over and over again. hahahha. (: till then ppl. (: tmr, i shall post photos of me and dear during secondary sch.. hahahah! do keep a lookout! hahhahahaahaa. im sure u guys wanna seeeeee! ahhahaha. (: nights!

2008-07-21T14:11:00.002+08:00

life is so unfair. i know that's something cliche. but. it's funny to see how life turn their back on us sometimes.

just the other night i had another 1001 things to talk about. and i mean it. like a lot. but why does all those stuff simply come and go? its good that it comes and go. bt.. when it stuck in ur head, it will. and it may seem like forever.

all i know is that there are alot of things going on around me. i wish, i hoped, i prayed that i could stop the time. just for that moment, at least i can breathe.

everyone must have something that they should leave behind. if only everyone can take things that way.

nope. i got nothing else to say.

the only thing that im asking for now is that..
i hope music, which is my bestest companion of all, could console her. maybe, not only her, but everyone.

for a woman, when she got cheated for the first time, she thinks that she is naive. for the second time, she feels that she is innocent. but for the third time, she felt so foolish. however, for a guy, when he got cheated for the first time, it was an accident. for the second time, it was necessary and for the third time it was fated.

i dunno how much can i absorb the above. it depends how u look at it.

2008-07-17T22:03:00.003+08:00

so.. today i went out with my siamese twin. she is oh-so-loved. she understand me inside out. i wish we could be childhood friends. like those in bollywood movies, where they grew up together in the same hometown and stuffs. sometimes, when comes to think about it, it is fun to have a best friend that could be your sister. hah. even though we did nothing much or wadever, her smile and laughter is enuff to cheer me up and bring my confidence to a whole new level. we've been friends since 13 and im so proud of that. i hope we could be like.. BFF+ F +F+ F +...... and the Fs goes on.

nothing much to write. here are some pictures. enjoy people. tgif tmr! (:

picture of the day.
her face is forever happy lah.
loooook at aqid's face!!!!! hahha.
kiss me no-goodbye. hahahaahahhahahahahahaha!
hahhaa. explain this.
random?
and yours sincerely. (:

2008-07-15T21:36:00.004+08:00

so i have a date with aqidah love on this thurs. haha! (: maybe KFC-ing with her. (: YAAY-ness. (: hahah.

and and and. 3 cheers for me, cause i completed that review. (: yes, oh yes. that online review. and mel said my justification was well done!!! I LOIKE. hahhahaa. bro love to hear me saying that. I LOIKE. hahha. (: so.. i think im visiting the musem with love one day. soon. cause i need to finish writing the story and report by 29 july. not much time, i can say. haha. this is one thing abt my course. all u got to do is talk, write, think. talk, write, think. nope. the list doesnt goes on. haha. LOL. ok. up next will be my PP draft. i need to submit it to andy by the 24th, which is like.... OMG. next week?! damn. ok. im in dead shit. for sure. can i like.. ask andy to postpone mine to somewad next next week? its 2000 words lah. shucks. nvm. i think i'll do it real soon. REAL soon. good god, help.

tmr im going out with love. (: yaay-ness. i told him i wanna go shoping. heee. (: but these few days he doesnt let me shop. grrr. cause he said i spent too much. bleah. well, if thats the case, this time round, i use my money.. hahaha! (: but still, when comes to paying, he will give me tht.. "aiyah, pity u. come lah, i pay" look. hahaha! so sweet. but i think seriously, he spend alot on me this month. not that i want him to pay, but he is doing it willingly. i told him that i wanna pay for my stuffs, buy he insisted. i told him i wanna pay, over and over again. but still, he paid for everything. hais hais. but when he says stop, means stop. haha. maybe i shud go treat him. but that time i alrd treated him to ramen ten. hahhaa. nice FOOD lah! nvm. this time round maybe i go treat him again. (: hahha. anw, DOES THAT MATTER? ahhaha. love, oh love. (:

so.. wad else? oh. today attended mel's lesson and after that went to window shop with syakir. haha. he seriously wanted that hoody shirt from ZARA. i told him to buy but in the end, both of us were having doubts abt it. hahaha. LOL. i saw a gorgeous dress from topshop, a top from dorothy perkins, another top from F21. seriously, they are calling for me. not call. maybe YELL is a better word. hahah! (: wel, see how it goes tmr. (:

hahha. ok then. i wanna go do other stuffs. RJ done, evaluation done! (: gooody good. hahaha. (: nite, ppl. :D

2008-07-14T20:50:00.002+08:00

so today, i had this super stupid stomache. i was on the way to sch and blah blah blah. ):

i didnt meet my dearest cousin Syakir. ): tmr i shall meet him then. and mel's lesson tmr. there's another writing lab but i have not done a single thing yet. omg omg. and the best thing is, the deadline is tmr. yeah. im dead, minus the line. ugh. LAME.

i accompanied love to polyclinic awhile, to take his MC. he missed his test just now. Thanks to............................................... ugh. nvm. hahhaha. (:

and now, i think i really need to start on my writing lab. haha. (; gtg den. (: tooodles.

CHANGE.

2008-07-11T23:46:00.003+08:00

nope, it's not something random at all. change is something that all of us will go through one day, at any point of our life. the thing is, sometimes, we dunno how, when and why it happened. im sure all these things are beyond our control.

nope. it's not abt my bf. gerald is doing well. just that some people that i knew so far.. CHANGED. for better or worse, we shall see. time will tell all. its not that i dun like it. but.. maybe.. im so not use to it. wadever it is, i just want them to be happy.

nvm. let's move on.

so today i went to sch as per normal. attended sam's class. omg. her teaching was SOO boring like mad. ugh! omg omg omg. i nearly fell asleep down there. as wad barty said in msn just now, just patronize her lah. LOL.

and yeah. after class head down to syak's class at w2. davis showed some GREAT magic. zheng hao and i was like laughing like mad. hahaha. alex was forever disturbing me, faz is forever singing, shawn forever picking on me. hahhaha. rabia? forget it. shall talk abt that some other time. im disappointed with her. really. i hope she could be back on track again soon. anw, hahha. i had fun with davis. he was showing his moves in magic. hahahhaa. seriously, zheng hao and i was like.. "wtf? " ahhahaha. alex lah. he also give me the jitters. hahahha.

in the end, went back with faz, farouq, zheng hao, alex and syakir. hahhaa. took train with syakir and farouq. when i stood near farouq, i realized how tall he is. well, actually, he is not that bad lah. ahhaha. LOL. i hope izzati wunt curse me for saying that. sorry izzati! (: hahaha. yeah. and farouq seeems humorous too. (: look how life is playing with u. in just a blink of an eye, u meet new frends and another door of happiness opens! (: hahaha.

ok. that was all for sch. well, there are alot of MBT (must blog thing). but i cant seem to remember! shit. nvm. syakir, if u can remember, do update! haha.

ok. so nic(4e3) wanted to organize a gathering for his bdae. love was invited. but in the end, they cancelled it. not many can make it. haha. we've bought a present for him. hope love can pass it to him when he is free. hahaha. i really wanna go out with love. but he is just too busy with his stuffs. and i think.. we went out alot of times alrd, this month (i think). HAHHA.

ok. tmr i heard my family and i will be going out with cik imah. i dunno how true is that. hahha. (: i miss her. so, i dun mind, actually.

*shit. it's 12 am alrd. just checked the time. oh my god. shall i type things as .. tmr? ugh. i hate this. hahahah. nvm just ignore me. night syndrome have their first attack.* RANDOM.

yah. so tmr maybe going out with cik imah. but i heard dad wanna go fishing too. omg. i dunno lah. aiyoh. hahha. but tmr i need to do some cleaning! hahhah. ((: in the morning, of coz. hahha.
and yes! morning. i need to collect my dorothy perkins skirt. i went to the interchange to get the zip changed. hahaha. dunno wad happened to it. hello? that cost me $5 bucks. hahaha.

and and and.. aqidah-darling participating in NBC tmr! all the best to her. she msged me awhile ago saying that she is scared. yeah. i think she is. if not, she wuldnt beep me. hahahha. she promised to tell me the results. i'll be the first to know! wuuu. hahaha. ((: JY! break a leg!

ok then. i think nth much more to update. ok. here's photos (: me, and dear. i think it's been a while since i put a photo of both of us together. haha. (: take care! enjoy ur weekends!

2008-07-05T16:11:00.001+08:00

I MISS MY FREAKING LONG HAIR.

H-E-L-P.

2008-07-04T11:10:00.003+08:00

let me tell u a story. but WARNING: THIS STORY CAN ONLY BE UNDERSTOOD BY MUHAMMAD SYAKIR BIN SELAMAT. (:

once upon a time, there is a girl name fifah. one day, she went shopping with her dearest cousin, syakir. while they were walking, suddenly, fifah saw one shop which sell dresses. she decided to go in.

she browsed and browsed and finally, she saw this one pure, white, gorgeous dress. the moment she grab hold of it, she knew that dress will transform her looks and.... it will be somethin new in her closet.

so she wore it, make full use of it and kept it for 2 years. however, one day, when she went for another round of shopping with her cousin, she saw another dress. this time round, the dress looks weird, looks alienatic, looks funny. But somehow or rather, she seems to be attracted to that dress. She asked Syakir whether she should buy it.

"If u like it, den go ahead. But are u sure abt it? It looks FUNNY, ALIENATIC, WEIRD. No matter what, the decision is urs," said syakir.

Fifah gave it a try and she turn and look at the dress for the next 20 mins. She's in dilemma. Should she rent the dress? Or should she keep using the dress that she bought 2 years ago? Or should she have both in her closet? Should she give away her old dress? Fifah needs your help. There is something about that weird dress..........

...... to be continued.

BY THE WAY, SYAKIR, WHEN YOU READ THIS, DON'T ADD ON ANY FORM OF ELEMENTS IN THE STORY PLEASE. (:

2008-07-03T21:28:00.002+08:00

omg. where can i start? hmmmmmmmmm...

so just now.. 1 whole day i chatted with kak nurul. ahahha. she is soooo sweet lah. hahahha. ((: we talked abt europe, to food, to whatever u can imagine. ahahhahaahha. ok. had UT today. nth surprising. except for the stupid Nike ad. i duno wad is the message they are trying to deleiver across. i knw wad medium it is, but ugh. nvm.

hahhaa. so today i met syakir after UT. and ** did something which seriously gave me those goosebumps again. saw ** when the lift at level 5 opens. hah! i feel like laughing + crying after wad he just did. and i told syakir the whole story thing. well, not surprisngly, my dearest cousin was shocked + surprised. hahhahaha. i told him abt the dreams too. hahahha. i duno whether i can face ** from today onwards. ugh. good god. help. hah.

wad else.. wad else...

oh. tmr i heard we have a family gathering at punggol. syahmi's bdae. hahha. well......... if its confirmed, mayeb syakir and i head down there together after sch. hahha.

aqidah love is askin whether i wanna go JBF. i sooooo wanna go, pls.

hmmmm... i did my module selection just now. and... i took theatre appreciation as my freely chosen module. hahaha. it's abt appreciating stage, u knw.. literature stuffs. i bet chris will love love love this. hahaha. well, he might think that all the stage in the world belongs to him. cause seriously, he acts like a totally drama freak. hahah!

i got no photos to update. i know. sounds pathetic. hah. nvm. tmr i take loads and loads of photos. (i hope)!

ok den. i think i shalll stop here. hahahhaa. tmr's fri and im soo looking forward to weekends. oh pls, god. make time go faster~!

2008-07-01T10:12:00.002+08:00

i dunno how to put this. but seriously, it's not that i dun want her to change. somethin in her simply freaks me out. but nvm. someone might be feeling the same way as i do right now.

just last night i have 1001 things to update. but right now, it seems like there's nothing but simply worries, problems and work. omg. i dunno wad i should be doing. seriously, everything is in a mess and i dunno where to begin with, to start things all over again. school has been fine, cousins are doing great, family is awesome. but somewhere, somewhat, somethin is disturbing me. i dunno. ugh. i need to stop crapping in here.

i was disappointed at that time, but since u didnt call me back, as in, ask me to be with u once again, den i will never want to bother anymore. i had my part to play. and i think i did it. i dunno what specifically went wrong but out of the 24 months so far, i never been hurt like this. never. and i think this will take time to heal. u did something WRONG. and i mean it. WRONG. and i have to take the blame, to cool things down. wtf. no way im gonna do tat. no way. as for now, i dun want to be the girl who seems so 'desperate' and willing to give in. it's time to let u feel what im going thru. even if this will take forever, im gonna let it go, somehow or rather. happy 25th, btw.

2008-06-26T21:45:00.002+08:00

shucks. i've been procrastinating the things i shud do. maybe i shud stop it. as in. immediately. shucks. i hate this. i seriously hate this. ugh.

my bones are aching. my whole body feels like S***. and i dun wanna curse anymore but ughh! nvm. jia you fifah! u can do it! LOSE THOSE FATS. go go go!

go fifah, go fifah, go fifah (cheerleading style) hahahahha! fine. im done here. toodles.

2008-06-25T15:30:00.001+08:00

ok. here's my new hair cut, as requested by most. haha. i dunno why, but having short hair makes me turn back the time to all the way back in sec sch. oh, i love the feeling. hahaha. nvm then. ((: God knws how i feeeell. ((:

and damn, i cant seems to upload the KL vids! ugh. wads wrong?!

2008-06-24T22:57:00.002+08:00

i think i have a new job. blogskin changer. one by one people came to me pleading to change their blogskin. is it that tough? i dun think so. hah. nevermind. someday they'll know.

anw, yesterday i went funan. i thought i want to have a trim/slightly shorterhaircut. but in the end, andy came and take a look at my hair. he asked me whether im free the next day. some students are sitting for their exam and they need model. i dunno why was it soo last minute for them to find a model. ugh. so i agreed to andy's offer. however, i told him that i came here for a haircut. yeah. haircut. den he told me to continue tmr. they just trim a little just for the exam. fine.

so today i went back, sat for this some china guy's exam thing, and then proceed with my haircut. i though i would want a shoulder length hair. as in. slightly shorter. but then, guess wad? they gave me short hair. hahahha. i not pissed though. cause seriously, i trust KIMAGE.hahaha. ((:

and yeah. its been years since i last had my hair short. so, nth so surprising. just that the way they cut it was so interesting. hahaa. and nice. good job! ((: so.. maybe the next time i go back there will be with my mum. mum wanna color her hair or something. ahhaa. i want to do technical color again!!! ((: at least before my 18th. hahha. ((:

ok. KL videos will be up tmr, and pictures of my new haircut will be out tmr too. till then. BYE!

2008-06-23T10:12:00.005+08:00

Alright. Finally i have the time to update on KL trip. NOT like lazy syakir. he simply doesnt want to update. LAZY eh, hahahhaa. KL trip was awesome, i can say. haha. ((: ok. so here's the photos. mind you, the photos were randomly selected. i dun have the whole time in the world to upload everything. haha. videos will come in tmr. arigato. hahah. ((:

FIRST DAY: Reaching KL. @putrajaya.

oh yes. i brought my darling winny along. well, erm. i cant sleep without him. and since ayie, qilah and adik sat behind, this was wad they did to him. ): but cool ..! ahhahaa. he got whacked by them too. haiyoh. hahahah!
and this. can't u feel the love, ppl? hahahha.
super candid. i dunno wad syakir is doing with his hair, i dunno wad hariz is doing with his hands like tht. (seems so wrong though.) hahahahhahahahahaha! mak min. so so cute!
u see, this is wad happens when typical mum says "go there! take picture. go go go! alah. dun shy lah!" and we were like interpreting that as... " nak show everyone kita kat ancasa hotel kan? tourist to the max.com" LOL!
ahhh. this is wad i call, RANDOM + BEING FORCED = STUPIDITY. learn the equation, ppl. ((: hahahahhaha
ok. here's a quick game: spot the muka stress! (for the roller coaster ride) muahahahhahahahaha!~!!!
oh yes. we're in the queue.

hahhaa. whenever i see this pic, i saw only syakir and myself. actually mirah is behind. hahahahha. it's time for u to grow, mirah. hahahaha.
as requested by kak nurul, super candid photo. credits to mum. (: oh yes. we took the ferris wheel at sunway lagooon.
and here's the kecoh-ness. i swear that our cabin as the loudest one. hahaha.
hahaha. game #2 : spot the muka stress + try to maintain due to the camera. syakir's hair rocks lah. hahaha.
these 3. i think it's ok if we leave them in KL for a week and then we fetch them after tat. there fun is like.... never ending!

and here's the funny part. my aunt imah went to KL with her frends. and we saw her on the last day @ petaling street in the morning. wow. wad a reunion! (btw, this has nth to do with my mum's side. haha. and that girl, yes. that tall girl. she's in RP!)

and what's holiday without camwhoring?
ahhhhhh. i love this. the normal-typical buffet breakfast of a normal-typical US. hahahaha.

2008-06-18T21:08:00.002+08:00

this post is just to inform u al that i'ms till alive, going slow and steady. haha!

i know, i know.

i still have to do qid's and nat's survey thing and also update about my KL trip. ugh! but there's so much to do! irritating.

i will update it a.s.a.p

and faz, be patient, my dear. i need my brain cells, time, energy, eyes, common sense and also fingers to link u. can u wait?! can u see that my whoe body is not co-operating with my brain?! hahahhaa.

ok then. i shall update more later. toodlllesss.

2008-06-11T22:05:00.003+08:00

firstly, i need to do some correction here. hah. (: coegent = chin hui..! hahhaha. the other girl is yaqian. omg. hahaa. sorry sorry. so dumb lah! hahhaha. kks. here are the photos of syak's class outing!

mozarella!
me, coegent, ZH, syak
look at the blood m face! hahha. cuzzy mirah and me! LOVE YOU.! (:
ouh. preety shades!
ehem. need i explain?hahaha!
hahhaa. the whites. ZH so cute lah. hahahaa!
syak!! hahahhaa. anyhow pounce on me. hahaha. lucky i didnt pounce on coegent, and he didnt pounce on ZH. hahaa. confirm rojak sak. hahaha.
i think i look scary.
credits to my hand pls!

ZH and me. (:
coegent and me (:
syak and me. hahaha. syak loooks like a model.. as in. real model. but i look like a girl who wanna promote bata bag sia. hahaha!
i LOVE.
hahahha! when boredom strikes!

2008-06-09T22:09:00.003+08:00

i seriously thought that today's outing with syak's classmates will turn out.. awkward or boring. however, the story had a twist in it. hah. out of 25 ppl in the class, only 5 ppl attended the class outing, including my cousin. haha. tht is 1/5 of the population. hahaha. ((: i can laugh like mad. hah. and those five ppl were: stella, chin hui(sorry, if spelling wrong), coegent, zheng hao, and my beloved cousin, syakir. hahahhaa. and there's me and mirah, to somhow hang arnd with them. i thoght daryl, faz, ping, shawn, rabia, wil all be there. but sadly, most of the backed out. and i think that pissed stella off. hah.

arnd 1 pm i left the hse, and decided to go aqid's hse to pass her the presents that i made. hahaha. and i had a good laugh with her. nothing beats her enthusiasm! hahha. thats the reason why i love love love love love her so much. haha. but sadly, she's going band at 4. awwww! haha. and arnd 2.15 i left hougang and took 156 to sengkang. alighted at CP and saw mirah and syakir going down the escalator. haha. zheng hao called halfway and i think he was shocked that we had 11 more stations to go, to reach harbourfront. but he did not know that NEL is FAST. hahahahaha. ((; once we reached vivo, i saw zheng hao, stella and chin hui(sorry again if wrong.) we were waiting for coegent. omg. it's pathetic lah. i mean.. the amt of ppl attended. so we decided to eat lunch at LJS. haha. coegent did not eat. haha. i can see that stella is BORED and pissed. hais. wad to do? their classmates did not co-orperate with them. hais. and then.. we walked arnd.. went to see Armani Xchange, Zara, Esprit.. alot more. and then.. halfway thru.. stella and Chin hui left.. hais. so the 2 girls left.. for bugis. and there were only me, mirah, syakir, coegent and zheng hao. haha.

so in the end, we sat outside vivo and talked crap. omg. i realy had a great laugh with zheg hao. everytime he looked at me, he laughed. whenever he say something, he laugh. whenever i say something, he laugh. hahha. SO CUTE. syakir call him the fish. ahhahaha. cause he likes to blink his eyes. hahhaa. funny lah. aiyoh. hahaha.

BUT, the main highlight of the day is the football game. i dunno wad u call tat thing. ugh. we went to this adidas shop.. hahhaa. and there's is this football game.. the one can play with alot of ppl. haha.. some call it the table soccer. the one tat have the bbq stick like tat. hahaha. fun lah. zheng hao play cheat lor. hahaa. grab my stick and dun let me kick the ball. hahaa. mirah damn cute lah. hahahhahaa. she became the goal keeper and defender. hahahahha! syakir kept scoring goals!!! haha. go cousins, go cousins! hahahaha. ppl go there to shop, we go there to play. hahaa. irritating. haha. oh yah! there is this one foreigner guy.. saw us playing. haha. and we gave in to him. ask him whether he wants to play. haha. and then he, alone play with coegent and zhenghao. hahaha. ((: and guess wad? HE WON. hahahhaa. and after that, we continued playing. i had a great laugh till i dun wanna stop playing with them!!! so does the rest! hahha.

after that, syakir wanna withdraw money. and coegent and zheng hao did some survey thing. and they received $5 voucher each for F.O.S. hahaha. and both of them so sweet, they gave me. LOL. hahaha. and after that we took photos and went home!!! hahhaa.

so fun...!! ((: love love love! hahhaha. ok then. tmr goin swimming with adik, ayie, qilah and syakir. ((: hahahha. till then. night night night!

2008-06-08T21:27:00.003+08:00

mummy coooooooooking. (:
adik KPO! he alrd told me he wanna go SHITEC. wanna be a cook! (:
pineapple! dish : sweet and sour fish! wuuuuu.
sibuk....!
GOOOOOD MORNING! i swear i just finish taking a bath.
haha. marina square with bro and dear.
no comms.
adik!!!! wad a FACE.
tie tie shoelace!
and here we go. (btw, those 2 guys are HOPELESS. bully me only~!)

hah. ((: ok ok. photos are alrd up. (: hahha. wanna go play SIMSSSS! haha. no maybe maple. ugh. nvm. see how.! ((: take care alllll...!

2008-06-08T00:48:00.002+08:00

my hols are doing great! just that once in a while it turn out abit boring than i've expected. hah. (:

last thursday i went out with my bro and dear to vivo. went to catch the movie 'speedracer'. all 3 of us enjoyed the movie. hahaha! all to our interest. CARS. ((: love love love. hah. and then. nth much. bro got to eat his super big double whopper at BK. hmph. hahaa. we left vivo after the movie. went marina square after that. dear wanna collect his creative earpiece. (: and then.. nth much. we watched abit of pokemon live show there. so cute lah can. hahahha. (;

friday.. went geylang with aunty. (: lucky not a lot of ppl. hahaa. as usual, ate mee soto there. damn nice i tell u. hah. and then.. rached home arnd 12 plus. nth much. went out at 3 to meet cousin syak. he is alone at home and he got stupid VPN problem. and i went there just to fix it, by telling him to use caps and numbers for password. ug. irritating. hahahaha. not worth my time! hahaha. but i had a great laugh. (: den.. met dear at CP. went to play arcade and won sweets. ahahhaa. (: bought waffle and mr. bean. ((: happy like mad! wuuu.

sat, which is today. (ugh. look how time passed by.) stayed at home and ate lunch. mummy cook. and then.. i had a war with someone online. together with syak and mirah. seriously, that war is kinda lame. he simply dun get wad we are trying to say. i seriously think he wants to be part of us cause he thinks we are cool. oh, whatever shit. and then.. went singapore expo. i bought a MONTAGUT paris polo tee. yes yes. that brand. sounds expensive. i know. it's a branded brand. but wth. it's on sale lah ppl! hahhahhaa. anw, i wanna wear it to KL. yes yes yes. ((: happy. hahaha. and then went sembawang for dunno who's bbq. bleah. hahaha. met up with syak and mirah. cousin love! hahhaha. we kinda did reflection of what we did that afternoon during online. it sounded fun though. hahahha. nurin and sue must be there lah! to hear our stories. confirm laugh laugh laugh like mad. hahahha! ((:

so tmr mummy decided to stay at home. and here are the list of things to do..

1.take out clothes for KL trip.
2. spring clean room
3. hand wash my black dress
4. bargain with mummy abt allowance. (hahah)

and here are the things i should look forward to

1. syak's class outing to vivo. (im joining. so does mirah. haha! extra. belen belen they call it.)
2. meeting up with dear before KL trip
3. meeting up with liah and ana for shopping and tea/lunch. (miss them loads! hahaha.)
4. KL trip. (i bet it will turn out awesome)

and here is something i shud not look forward to.

1. SCH REOPEN.

ahhh. i hate that feeling. the day after i come back form KL, sch will resume! irritating. haha. nvm. hope shopping will motivate me. LOL. wadever that means, uh. hhahhaa. kk. shall stop here. upload photos real soon. dear is online and he is waiting for me to finish blogging. hahahahha. LOL. ok then. see ya. good night, sweet dreams.!!

bye people!

2008-06-04T15:31:00.004+08:00

i dun understand. why is he so white and looks weird here!
hahahaha.
FAT FAT FAT
this is how high we are. at the peak.
the buildings
look. im riding THAT.
TELLYTUBBY
hahha. pose.
welly-kum!
and here i go!

nth much. simply photos. hahah. (: hahahaha. have fun..!

2008-06-02T11:58:00.008+08:00

Happy 2nd year anniversary! (:

i've wanted to post yesterday. but was too tired to do it. cause yesterday i had a hell of fun. ok. let's start.

yesterday was 1st of June. yes. everyone knows. LOL. and yesterday in fact was my 2nd year anniversary with dear. last friday he asked me whether im free on sunday. i said, well maybe. and so.. in the end.. sunday came, which is yesterday. he didnt say much. he just told me where we suppose to meet. and finally we met at city hall. he arrived at 2.30pm. i waited for him for half an hour! he nearly fetched me at serangoon, thats the cause of his late. (: hahaha. and then.. he showed me something. he bought for me a disney princess monopoly! hahah.
so cute lah. ok. that's happiness #1.

den.. we went to a shop and bought a cap worth $38.90. happiness #2 :) and it's nice. i love. :)
and den, we talked and laughed as usual.. and he says.. we going to marina square. and i was like.. erm.. okay. den we head off.. (remember, i got no idea what will we be doing. he did the planning).. we walked and talked. den.. he asked me.. whether i am afraid of heights! i say... erm.. ok lah. during valentine's day.. he alrd brought me to take a cable car. he tested my fear. now, i wonder.. what's next! hahhaa. my first thought after he asked that was... the DHL balloon thing. hahaha. but guessed what?

when we reached marina square, we decided to eat at secret recipe. :) then.... after we ordered our food......... HE SHOWED ME A TICKET. IT'S THE SINGAPORE FLYER!!!!!! YES YES YES. THAT FERRIS WHEEL. THAT GIGANTIC FERRIS WHEEL IN SINGAPORE! HE BOUGHT 2 TICKETS!!!! AND WE ARE RIDING IT DURING SUNSET!! OMG OMG OMG. and that, happiness #3. :) hahaha. i nearly screamed at the secret recipe! :) hahhaa. lucky our food havent come. hahahaha. i cant believe that i will be riding the singapore flyer!! i really wanted to! but i heard it's full. bt ppl, u all can buy and go go go! hahaha. no wonder he told me that we have a free and easy time til 6. and also about whether im afraid of heights still. hahahahhaa! irritating boy. (:

i ordered chicken cordon bleu! nice nice nice. haha. den i also ordered hazelnut latte. whoah. nice man. hahaha. :) we ate cake also. chocolate indulgence. god. it's so sinfully nice. hahhaa. :) so.. that's happiness #4.

so after we ate, we went arnd.. and i bought this disney princess water bottle. hahahhaa. nice nice nice. hahahha. thanks gerald! that, happiness #5

hahah. den.. 6pm.. we walked.. to the singapore flyer place at marina. we took photos. hahaahahhahaa! i was first scared.. but whenver i think that gerald is with me, my fear went away. and im happy. :) hahhaa. so.. we go thru several checkpoitns and all.. security check and all. in the end, we went inside the cabin! hahahahhahaha. about.. 18 ppl inside. :) hahha. we took photos.. :) and a cabin behind us, they have a wedding! awwwwww so sweet. hahaha. we watched the sun set abit.. and we saw lotssa island and the IR being built. (ask me abt the feeling. i'll be happy to tell u all! ) hahhaha.

after the ride.. we waited hor a shuttle bus to bring us back to city hall mrt station. while waiting, he gave me another present! :) it's a chain.. crafted our names. from one angle, u can see my name. another angle, his name. omg omg omg. so cool lah! even mum was so surprised! hahhaha. happiness #6.

so.. overall i think he spent like.. over $100 for me. omg. and yesterday was as if i didnt carry a wallet. hahahah. im so so happy lah. nope. not because of the money thing. but the company i had. happy 2nd year gerald. :)

dun ask abt what is happening or what i felt. he gave me an answer and im contented with it. we may not know what the future holds. but i know, we love us. i want things to be this way. simply this way. not more, not less.

and aqidah love, can we meet up? i need to talk to u abt some stuffs.
here are some pictures. these are the pictures of things that he gave. not the trips. hahahha! enjoy.!

ticket to the singapore flyer. (:
princess water bottle #1
princess water bottle #2
monopoly. come. let's play.
the super ex cap.
our souvenier for the singaproe flyer ride. actually.. inside is our picture. hahaha. (:

welcome!
ok look. this is the chain. on this side, is my name. Afifah.
when u turn it, is's also my name. afifah.
this is another chain. one side is says.. Afifah
another side is gerald. cool right?! so u turn it.. there's 2 name. hahaa. i have two chains. ahhaha! one chain has both my name. and another is his name and mine! uber cool. hahah. oh yeah. this can also be a necklace! (:

alright. that's all. hahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahaha!

till then. have a great holiday!

2008-05-28T20:21:00.002+08:00

argh. forget abt my last post. i will never have the time to explain every single thing abt my previous post. hahaha. anw, i just wanna wish HAPPY BELATED BURFDAY TO NUR AQIDAH!! wuu. didnt get to see her to pass her burfday pressie. haha. shall do that one day. :) ANW GRL, YOU'RE 18. oh-oh. hahahaha. :) coming up next, mirah's burfday. aiyoh. may is not a good one lah. so many ppl's burfday. mirah is alrd interrogating me abt her present this year. ahhaha. :D

alright. so monday i attended chris lesson. damn fun lah. aiyoh. hahahha. i laughed my head's off the whole class. it's so.. literature kind. hhahha. fun fun fun. met syakir in his class for lunch and nothing much. talked crap as usual. oh. i met ALAN. he is damn hot lah can. hahha! :) but sadly..... hais. nvm. credits to syakir's big mouth! haha. but not as big as RABIA. omg. rabia is syakir's friend. and i swear whenever she see me, i felt like earthquake is attacking me and i questioned myself what i have done wrong to deserve this. she hug, touched, harassed and use unusual words towards me. omg. if i can file for sexual harassement, i think she will be the first lah. hahha. and then.. i went home with syakir's class. took bus wit sykir and daryl. so fun lah. :)
mudpie guy is super cute, faz a.k.a taufik batisah is so funny, danial abit thoing, shawn abit irritating, coegent abit uncle, rabia the tsunami. daryl the punk guy. super cute lah they all. ahha.

on tuesday. nothing much also. met up with syakir for lunch and i overcome another tsunami (rabia). afternoon, faz and danial went for audition for IG. hahha. FAZ CAN SING LAH. hahaha and then.. after school went back home with daryl and syakri again. took 161. hahha. fun! :) okay. here are some of the convos. enjoy!

me: hi rabia
rabia: HI KAK!
me thinking - since when i became her kakak (sister)?
rabia: kak, why u wear skirt?
me: why? cannot ar?
rabia: nanti takut skirt meletup.
me: WTH.

me: eh sya. this one is this.. this... (blah blah blah)
rabia touching my hair: kak, ur rambut bau beras.
me: WTF. hahah. den urs wil be bau hapak.

shawn: eh cheng hao. u watching? (the audition of faz and danial. we were talking abt it)
cheng hao(mudpir guy): huh? watch wad?
me: WAH.
the rest: wah lau. ahhahaahaha. audition.
me: no lah. wach tv. eh no. watch movie.
cheng hao: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAA.

me kneel down on the floor during faz's audition
shawn: eh. ur legs like weighin machine.
me: WEIGHING MACHINE?! lucky u never say i AM the weighing machine. -.-

me passing syakir some coins
cheng hao: wah. got muscle.
me: haha. cheerleadign last time and band.
cheng hao: wah! hahha. can see muscle pop out. wuu. popeye the sailor man.
me --> trying to find the link and then....... HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA.
sya: cute. hahahaha.

okay. that's all. bye ppl!

2008-05-24T12:53:00.002+08:00

just tyoing down the "Scope" of my later post. haha. not gonna type all now. ahha. :) so here's the scope!

Last Thursday

went mum's office
had lunch with her
stayed at her office
met her colleague, Elizabeth
talked to mum's security guard

2. Last Friday

met gerald tan
got a new bag from ink (thanks to him. -.- no comments)
guilty cause cant meet syakir due to busy schedule
received a necklace from aunt (love it)
did housework with mummy

3. So much to do -

300 words essay
500 words essay report
2000 words PP

4. Upcoming event -

meeting with PP advisor on monday at 5pm
Aqidah love's burfday on the same day! (ish!)
essay presentation
2 weeks' vacation
KL trip.

5. My current wants -

high cut shoe
shop till i drop at diva (hope to go with mum again!)
plead dad to give me $30
ask bro to stop to irritate me and start his revision
SIMS SIMS SIMS!
wuuuu

well, as u can see, my scope is kinda wide, and well.. expandable. ahhahaha! so, u shud knw wad to expect in the next post. hahhaa. gonna ELABORATE! wuuu. and aqidah love, yes. im gonna change song. to..... MICHAEL JACKSON! wuuuuu! :) hhahhaahaaah. ok. gtg now. toooodles!

2008-05-21T20:43:00.003+08:00

she came with an empty thought. she never expect anything, but to have some friendship to him. she met him, watched him, talked to him, laughed at him. everything. she put the past behind her and she kept telling herself that she can move on. she kept telling positive things inside her head. she felt guilty inside. he had done so much good things to her previously and she thought she owed him big time. he had done everything out of his own willingness. and she was touched. but since things happen until it became like this, she felt guilty cause she shud not leave him totally like that. so in the end, she wanted to meet him just for once, to thank him everything and just to show some gratitude. she never had anything in mind about him wanting her back. all she wanted was friendship.

when she asked him about his life, he kept quiet. and all she wanted was a simple answer and explaination. but in the end, it turned out to be a cold war. and she swallowed that hard. she was so playful in that fast food restaurant, until she got him angry. angry till he left her. all alone.

she wanted to cry but she held back her tears. suddenly, she felt no love, no friendship. nothing. once again, he left her without a word. so in the end, she told herself that from now on, she must not feel guilty abt how good he is. anw, he did everything out of his own willingness. she got no chance to thank him and everything. he walked away, leaving her all alone to explore her inner feelings. she walked arnd, bought things that she've wanted and den exit the mall. she saw him sitting outside, most probably waiting for her. she wanted to approach him and ask him 1001 questions and even to thank him. she also wanted to tell him that that outing was the last one. she thought twice. without hesitation, she left him all alone there. she walked past him and she dunno whether he noticed her. and yes, she left without a word. without her realizing, tears roll down her cheeks.

on her way home. she left him a thank you msg. and that, was the last one. forever.

2008-05-20T13:33:00.003+08:00

before i left for skool today, i went to bid aunty goodbye. went to her place a while. she's going batam with her family and all. awwww. i'll miss those kids! haha. :) hope they have a safe journey. =D.
yesterday watched qabil khushry qabil igam. ok lah. some moments very funny. some moments i can cry. hah. den aunt called up to go east coast. hang arnd there awhil til... 10? yeah.. den went home. :)

so there are a lot fo deadlines to meet. ugh. must finish writing report for M202. must finish up PP. and attend CE talks. goodness.

i hope i can cope. no one said it's gonna be easy, anw. -.-"

so mum didnt go to work today cause she need to go to adik's sch to collect his report book. and she msg me telling that she is disappointed with adik's results. in fact, me too. i dunno wad else can i do, to make him understand that he needs to work hard on his pcoming PSLE. -.- i think i got this last strategy. if he dun wanna listen to me stil, i got to hand him over to dad. well, u shud knw. ugh.

okay. no photos for now. and aqidha love, im so sorry for our late photo! i'm still sorting it out. hello? we took more than a hundred shots in less than an half an hour! GOODNESS. hah.

i think i shall end here. nth much to update, though. :)

i dun wanna procrastinate anything. but hais. headache!

now im assured. all this while, i dun regret what u have done. it's simply heart-breaking, but overall, it's worth it. :) looks like u like what's happening and u can be strong in this. if u think u are mentally strong to fight thru this, and u think that u can handle pratically everything, den let me show u that not even a single word of yours, can stab right thru my heart. :)

2008-05-18T22:05:00.006+08:00

haha. it's 10 plus now and i am so so so so happy that there is no sch tmr. yes ar. hahhaa. so, yest didnt went out at all. just went to geylang with aunt. afternoon mum cooked and we stayed at home the whole day. was just fine. and today, im so so so so so HAPPY! (: i went SHOPPING with FAMILY. :) hhhahaha. we went marina square and walk walk arnd. mum and i went DOROTHY PERKINS to shop some stuffs. :) and in the end, i bought a BLACK DRESS, mum bought 2 TEES. spent $65 dollars in there. =D. im so so happy. i wanted to buy this BLACK SKIRT. very preety. bt it turned out to be short. shall consider. ugh. there were alot of aliens there. haahha. :) and and and, before that, we went DIVA to buy some accesories. mum bought 2 EARRINGS and i bought a RED BRACELET. i love love love! haha. we went to alot of shops. including this GOLF SHOP to buy dad's shirt. in the end, nth caught our eye. shall look more in LACOSTE for it. we ate BURGER KING for lunch and shared a burger with mum. :) adik has his own share, as usual. ugh.

after shopping at marina, we continued at suntec city. we went to look arnd at a lot of shops and nth caught our eye. haha. did some photo taking. -.- and we went back marina square. reached marina square, mum saw this SHOE from TINKERBELL. so preeety! she bought it at $16.90. nice nice nice. i didnt buy any cause no stock. irritating. hahahha. we dropped by alot of places lah. hahaa. we laughed and joke together. so arnd. 8 plus daddy fetch us. we went teh tarik at geylang to have dinner. and yaay. im now at home. hhahaha. happy to the max.com! :) wuuuu.

tmr i dun really intend to go out. wanna stay at home and watch teevee! :) hope mum will cook somerthing nice nice nice tmr. =D. ok. pictures! =D oh ya. pctures of me and aqidah wil be up later on. not now. cause im still sorting out the pics. :)

adik with his classin face. bluek.
typical. (forced by mum, btw. -.-)
LOOK!
wuuu!
fishy tanky.
i knew i will take this photo in a proper way, someday.
dark lah. aiyoh.
fun + irritating = STUPID.
mummmmy and adik. :)

2008-05-16T23:59:00.003+08:00

okay. finally feel like updating. hahaha.
so.. today i went tp. met up with aqidah first and we walked arnd tp. hahahha. that sch is really so happening lah. hahaha. i like...! no wonder ppl say RP can be boring at times. hahha. :) so since business sch is having their carnival, and mirah is involved, i decided to dropped by. syakir did not come along cause he had classes. haha. so aqidah and i went arnd a bit, saw mirah. and we saw this elmo mascot. hahah. and one unique thing abt this elmo is, the elmo have HORNS. omg. hahahhaa. looks more like a devil now. hhaha. ok. so aqidah and i went to the lab cause she needed to print some stuffs. ahahaha. =D and after that aqidah intro to me ebuddy. a kind of messenger. LOL. and u kwn wad? msn and ebuddy is GAY. really. i decided to label them that cause... they are simply not co-ordinating with me. and i hate it. -.-" hahha. ok. so.. in the end aqidah went off for her band and mirah, me and her frends went off to tampines mall to meet syakir and have a quick bite. :) had a great laugh with them! wuuu!

hah. oh ya. have i told u i made new frends from syakir's class?
on the left is their nick name that i gave and on the right is their actual name.
the mudpie guy - zheng hao
the movie guy - Davis
the punk guy - Daryl
the christian guy - Jin sheng
the china boy - Shi jie
the malaysian mummy girl of w25m - Ping
the comot a.k.a untidy "rock" girl - Rabiatul
the pious girl - izzati
the blurest-but-i-pity-him guy - wei jie
the guy with an alien slang - Farouq

hahhaha. each have their own story. look for me for info! hahhahha. all of them are so so so cute and funny! ok. here's a few convo i had the other day with some of his classmates.

WITH RABIATUL-
rabia: eh. why today all of us wear black ni? (referring to her, me and syakir)
syakir: asal? tak boleh? kau tu yang sibok! (why? cannot? u the one who is busybody!)
me: huh? black? oh. -.-

WITH DARYL-
me: hey daryl. what religion are u in?
daryl: i duno. my parents are buddhist. but i f****** hate christian ar! wth. f*** them ar!
me: oh ok ok. change topic. come. since when u like punk stuffs?
daryl: oh i like punk since...................... (blah blah blah)

WITH DAVIS-
me: hey. i like ur bag. kinda.. unique.
davis: (smiling) wat? my bag? the colour?
me: erm.. somethin like that? the design. cool.
davis: ARE U SERIOUS? omg hahahhahahahahahaha!
me: ya. erm y?
davis: hahahahhhaahahhaha, nth.
me: LOL. -.-

WITH CHENG HAO-
cheng hao: (talking to syakir) want some? (referring to chocolate mudpie)
syakir: oh... thanks.
me: why? not nice?
cheng hao: no. it's nice. but very filling. (and he smiled! awwwww)
me: (after he smiled) ouh. i see. ya. can tell.
cheng hao: (smiled at me and looked away. damn sweet lah, i tell u. right syakir?)

WITH JIN SHENG-
me: hey. u christian?
js: ya.
syakir: fah, isnt it obvious?
me: why?
(then i look he's wearing a crucifix necklace)
me: oh. i know he's a christian alrd)
js: hahahhaa.
me: BLEAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA. sorry. brain off today.

hahhaa. yeah. so thats all. so.. i think, there's nth much more to update. hahah. have a long weekend and happy holiday! :) take care!!!! wuuu! pictures will be up real soon. =D

2008-05-15T12:07:00.002+08:00

yes. i changed my blogskin, again. i dunno why these few days im so fickle minded. ugh. and i put up a new song. well.. the song is not new to listen to.. just that it is from the walt disney pictures.. BEAUTY AND THE BEAST. :) it's nice. it was sung by peabo bryson and celine dion. :) but i dunno why it started playing abit slow. well, all u need to do is to wait 20 secs. den it starts playing. :) i refreshed the page of my blog and then i counted how many seconds it began to start playing. and yes, it's 20 seconds. oh ya. i can watch it on yotube. yaay-ness. i wonder if i can watch cinderella in it too? hhaha. :)

and yeah. life has been fine (so far) .just that i need some time to settle some things. hais. i wish i can type everything down here. but it seems that i am not in the right mood to do that. and im runing out of energy. i dunno where i get my energy from. but all i need is energy. hais. there are lotssa reports i have to submit. lotssa deadlines to meet. omg. im so freaking stressed up lah, can? omg.

anw, im meeting aqidah later in the afternoon. i need her real badly. :( and she agreed to meet me. oh YES! :) she's been busy with sch and band lately. i knw how it feels, girl! :) and talking abt band, this big derick joined RPWS! hah. and he is so damn excited abt it. i dunno why. LOL. :)

nth much to update. no recent photos. but im meeting aqidah today and im preety sure we can come up with an album later. :) hahahhaa. take care then. cheers!

how i wish i can tell him what i wanted to say.
but looks like it will totally contradict.
so in the end things turned out preety bad.
and.. since he want it to be that way, i mean, this way, den let it be.
and... i really wish that things will get better. i really wish.
for now, all i need to do is to pick up all the pieces of me once again and then, i shall begin my story.

all i want him to knw that.. it wasnt a slap. it simply wasnt.

2008-05-12T21:42:00.002+08:00

i'll blog tmr. thought of posting something long.. but. nvm. i'll just.. blog tmr. night ppl.

i just want u to know....
smileeee
irritating kid ever.
i just wanna be happy.
kiss kiss.
mum said.. smile!
ouh.
me, mum. happy mothers day!
when laughter was my medicine.
swallow it up, boy!

2008-05-09T13:15:00.003+08:00

I'M ANGRY.
I REALLY AM.

THOSE WHO TRY TO PROVOKE/IRRITATE ME, THINK TWICE.
IT'S EITHER I TAKE SOMETHING AND THROW IT TO YOUR FACE, OR I KILL YOU STRAIGHT AWAY.

and friend, being in a one-side relationship sucks big time. it really does.

now SCRAM.

2008-05-08T20:26:00.003+08:00

i cant believe what i did, what i said and what i wrote. most mportantly, i cant believe wad happened. i feel like crying but no tears are coming out. i feel like screaming but i dunno to whom/what. i feel like hurting myself but it's sucha stupid thing to do. i feel like throwing things at someone but i dunno who. i feel like sitting all alone but im afraid of the lonelineess. i want to tell things to someone but i cant get him/her now. i feel like running away but i dunno where. i feel like... calling him and tell him im sad and angry at the same time but he wunt understand. now that's wad i called.. mixed feelings. i dunno what else can this brain of mind can think of. i thought last christmas i put aside and settled everything. bt i didnt see this coming along. i didnt knw that my feelings will change one day. i didnt know that things are going in circle. well. maybe i know. maybe aqidah knows. but i want to be happy mar. i simply want to be happy. he knws real well that i wanna stand by him always. i want to be with him like forever. but why cant he change a little bit to complete everything? why cant he understand what im trying to say all this while? why is he so cold somewhere deep down until.... i am the one who always get hurt? i want him to hug me close once again. i want him to be the nice cool guy once again. but why things happened this way? why things simply happened this way.. till.. i am the one who wants the separation. for the first time, i felt sad but im not doing anythign abt it, to cool myself down. maybe im stil hoping for him to come by and comfort me.

today's mum b'dae. i collected the cake at compass point with adik arnd 3pm. we stopped by at the library, ate at banquet, and collected the cake. we cabbed home instead of taking train or bus. for one whole day,i try to keep myself happy by doing other things. i simply try not to let myself drown in my own pool of sorrow. we cut the cake just now. just before that, i went down and gave him the letter. i wonder what is his reaction. will he read it? will he forgot all abt it? will he throw it away? will he pretend nothing happen? will he call me once he read the letter? will he msg me saying that things will be okay? will he even talk to me? :( since last christmas im so lost with lots of questions. i tried to smile and laugh in front of everyone. but deep down, im kinda disappointed. sad. frustrated. i dunno. cant we end things cleanly?

and i dunno why i put that pic up there. there is a reason(?) i dunno. i just dunno. i cant think. god. help.

2008-05-05T21:28:00.002+08:00

i change song again. -.-" i think this is slightly better lah. not so moody like the other one. hahha. :) ok. nth much happen. today met dear and went delifrance. so tired. and and and. tmr i got UT! irritating. anw, my phones have been giving me probs. i cant send proper msges. ugh. nvm. omg omg omg. my eyes going to close soon. HELP.

oh hannah, eliz, pei rong, i miss u grls. omg. can we meet up or something?! durign lunch or whatever. i so need u grls! we've yet to have our teatime together! -.- hhahaha. ok ok.

so dear is addicted to his PSP! hmph. lucky he havent dump me one side. hahhahaa. ok lah. shall update next time. :) enjoy the song. :)

this song was sang by ariel lin. :) OST of they kiss again. a taiwanese show which i LOVELOVELOVE~!

2008-05-03T10:15:00.004+08:00

Ok. Here are more photos of Labour Day and some expired photos. Haha. LOL. just see the photos, okay? i will update later. im kinda whacked by PP last night and im freaing TIRED. hah.

EXPIRED PHOTO

this was taken at Sentosa. haha. was searching for this photo. ahaha. and seriously, i am SCARED of that bloody snake. it's cold and... erm. nvm. i dun think u wanna knw the feeling. haha! i think the snake is so comfortable with me, since i got tis fat molecule in my body. hahah!

i remembered i hold this star fish at the Underwater world. hahaha. so cute! well, my aunt works there and hell yeah, we had FUN!

this was taken at batu pahat. during some distant reative's wedding. i didnt eat though. aha. and that gorgeos lady beside me is my aunt. i love love love her. she took care of me since i as born. like a second mum! hahaha. well, she's the aunt that im talking abt, who always feed me ALOT. and i mean it. ALOT. the results? see my BODY. hahahahhahahahhahah!

WEEKENDS WITH FAMILY AT BOTANICAL GARDENS.

bro, if u are reading my blog, all i want to say is that... u look so bollywood in this. haha. wanted to tell u at night, but im afraid u might want to whack me for that. hahhaha!

NUR AFIFAH LOOKS RETARDED HERE. ok. move on.

and now, i look bollywood here. hahhahahaah! ((:

the ambassador of dog poo's plastic bag.
please collect ur dog poo using the plastic bag. hahahahaha!

nope. i wont be remembered this way. no way.

YYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHA! bro said i look like a convicted girl. haha. sweet escape, bro. sweetest escape. hahah!

good morning, love!

again, im not being rebellious. im beign stubborn!

hi turtle. it's me, fifah.

hey hey hey.
dont think i dunno, bro. i TOTALLY know wad u are up to.

CHANGI AIRPORT TERMINAL 3 WITH FAMILY.

yup. i went changi airport again, with my family this time round. hahaha. just the day before i went with dear, and the next day, i went there again with family. haha. they were asking for suggestion on where to go, after eating lunch at bedok corner. haha. so, since bedok is near changi, why not? ahhahaa.

ok. bro, look. dun get ur head swelled up when i say this. u look GREAT. ok move on. it's not as if u gonna pay back my $2 after said that. ugh.

yes. since my bro LOOKED good, the attention was not on me. and mum was actually kind enuff to take this. ugh. ahhahaha!

twins! hahah. no lah.thats me. and mum!

bro, its obvious lah. u dun wanna take this shot. -.-

and here goes picture of the day. (: as what my shirt says: GIRLS JUST WANT TO HAVE FUN. and i mean it people. i really mean it :D

2008-05-01T12:14:00.003+08:00

more pictures! hhaha. i'll find the time one day to update, okay? haha. for now,. take a look at the photos. LOL. these are the photos i took at changi airport terminal 3 (:

anw, reply to tags.
LP: hey. thanks! hahhaa. i miss you lah.! (: hahha. im doing just fine! ((: i hope u too! hahhaa. u look great too!

Genevieve: hahha. i knw u. my junior! LOL. hahha. ok. shall link u up when im free! (:

the feel of being a tourist. #1
the feeling of being a torist #2
"waiting for our flight" back to serangoon and hougang. (:
ouh., hahah.
look. im lost.
i told u to pose, not stone.
WE, shall save the world. let's join hands and find... MAS SELAMT.
deprive childhood critical stage. help.
yeah. that's more like it!
nope. im not being rebellious. im being STUBBORN.

2008-04-29T18:01:00.005+08:00

yup, im back. im so freaking tired nowadays. maybe im so stress about PP. yeah. that 2000 words essay. goodness. pimple breakout! help. thanks goodness thurs is a holiday. like. yaay! haha. ims till in sch rite now.. yeh. with sya. and he's so stress abt retaking his Os. hahhaa. ok. nvm. i think i shall post some photos. i hope blogger wunt give me any form of attitude!

anyway, TKA series ended. and im so damn sad abt it. ): it only lasted till episode 20. im gonna miss xiang qin and zhi shu.!! hais.

KBOX!!

presenting, the superstar.
that's wad i called... sing with expression.
oh, love.
hei hei hei!..... sushi. (:
BUSY LAH.

ok. thats all for updates. (: muahuahauahuahaua. gonna sign off now. hahaha. tmr wanna go changi airport, i think. (: shall see how. hahaha! till then. BYE BYE BYE.

2008-04-23T20:54:00.002+08:00

i am so so tired right now. i just came home with Sya and everything seems so blur. i've yet to reveal something.......that i havent tell anyone yet. i fainted in the bus. can u imagine that? omg. yeah. once i boarded the bus, i fainted. and the bus driver help me up and took my things. lucky i so called conscious as fast. if i fainted and only wake up mins later, i dunno where i will be.
(well, judging from my weight.) -.-" yeah. nothing much to talk abt today. yes, i so called attended k-box with gerald and his friends. at jurong. but it was a fast one. i was having headache and i onyl sang two songs. -.-" and nope, i didnt take the alcohol there. just took plain green tea. ugh. so does gerald. he is so sweet. didnt know he stopped drinking even behind my back, and in front of me. last time, i heard he drink. but now, yaay. ((: after that, i met sya and we went home together.

oh. many ppl ask who is 'queen', on my tagboard. well, i make it official now. 'queen' is my mum. yes. my real blood mum who gave birth to me. hah. she always read my blog and tag nonsense. but well, whenever she is free in the office. haha. but at least mum is like my best frend and we could almost share anyting under the sun. love ya. (: yeah. okay.

nth much left to update and im too tired to upload photos. till then.

2008-04-22T14:15:00.004+08:00

chocolate fondue with dear @ PS. ((: this is heaven!
i swear the whole world stops rotating when i ate that.
banana chocolate crepe. GOOD FOOD LAH.
chicken rice with dear @ little india's New Generation Restaurant. (:
suntec-ing with dear
i bet the future generation wunt recognize this statue cause i myself cant find the reason why i shud be remembered, well, at least THAT way.
1, 2, don't step. ((:
j-co-ing
his, mine.
you're totally right. he was forced to pose. (:

shut up, i say.
pathetic lah.
dun laugh lah goondu.
dun anyhow lah.
and there u go. picture of the day. (?)

2008-04-21T13:47:00.003+08:00

i need someone to talk to right now. but for once, i dunno who. im confused. i wanna shout but i dunno why. i wanna blame someone but i dunno who. im so fragile today. i dunno why. help.

im scared. im so scared. i dun want things to repeat itself again. right now i dun care who will read my blog or who wanna comment on it. i simply need to pour my feelings out from my heart. sometimes.. not knowing anything is better than knowing a lil bit of it.

i made such sacrifices and he cant. each have it's own consequences. but why am i the only one facing it? why cant u? he only think abt his feelings. not mine. if he's nice, he's nice. if he's not, he's not. why must you play arnd like this? it's tiring, u knw. loyal? only me? im stating to doubt everything u said from day 1.

I FEEL LIKE SCREAMING, TAKE A TABLE AND THROW RIGHT AT HIS BLOODY FACE. i told u, havent i? and u DARE go against me. HOW DARE YOU.

im confused. while he's away, other ppl came along and replace him. ppl who can get along with me 1000times better. but.................. ARGH. forget it.

maybe what my gf say is right. he was never there. maybe once or twice. when i need him, he is always away. maybe screaming and taking a table to throw right at his face is not worth it. all he need is one good SLAP on his face. it's his childhood problem and that's all he need to solve it. i wanna get angry but it's NOT worth it.

maybe HE'S right.

TIME WILL TELL ALL.

there you go. take that. now THAT, is worth it.

2008-04-14T10:30:00.007+08:00

FINALLY, i can upload pictures. hahahah!!! (: ok. here goes.

SCHOOL DAYS WITH COUSIN,SYAKIR.

so this is his official first day of using lappy. hahahahaha! well done, cuz! (:
and here, is his green-oh-so-green havai. (: he's proud of it, i tell u. hahahhaha!
and here is his lunch box. it says.. "MOTHER'S CHOICE". hhaha. i swear i laughed my head's off.
ouh. cam-whored while waiting for his class to end. all of his facis are like mr panda. u shud knw wad i mean, cuz. hah!
stop it eh.

AFTER SCKOOL, COUSIN'S PLACE.

me:sya, come, take photo!

sya: sudah lah.. (enuff lah)..

in the end, he's in the frame. ahha!

say hello to gobbles. (:

stop it eh #2

her name is.... erm... Nur Alisa Idora? or whatever it is. sorry cousin, im simply OLLLDDDD now. i tend to forget. ugh.

nice one. SLEEEEP only eh. Hahaha.

HAIR CUT DAY WITH LOVE.

SMILE LAH.
there u go.
i kinda.. like-and-hate his haircut. ugh. nvm.

typical,uh?

FAR-EASTING WITH AQIDO.

i swear we took a lot of times for this shot. the bus is moving, ppl.
this is a good one. see that 105 bus slot? it says.. Arr. wich means, arrived. the next one is 3 mins later. thats how u read it, right? but u wanna knw wad? when it says ARR, the bus DID NOT arrive. yeah. in fact, it comes 5 mins later. so, the question is, wad's the point of having tis board?!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BRO.

nope. my mum did not give birth to another 2 kids. those little ones are my cousin's kids. alysha alina and daniel iskandar. (: ya. their mum is a eurasian. (: makes no diff, though. ugh.

one thing i like abt birthdays is that.. the kids are the ones who makes the whole situation... CHEERFUL.

that's my aunt. i love love love her. she's watched me and my bro grew up. and in fact, we grew up in her house. (: and those kids are happy to see their grandma taking photos with them. hahaha.

SYF OUTDOOR 2008

TK Band.!!!!!!!!!!
BOWEN!!
fly me to the moon, and let me play among the stars.....(:

in other words, please be true.. in other words, I LOVE YOU. hahahahaha~!

Single-hood? (or wadever it means.)
presenting, Fifah, Qidah, Tasha. (:

so the recent event that i attended was SYF OUTDOOR 2008 with those 2 girls up there. it was awesome. but god knows ow many times we shifted just to get a good view. hahahaha! thanks to all those sch kids. hahaha! so in the end, DEYI took it all. Drum Major of the year, and Display Band of the year. Haha. i expected TK Band to take that title, and yes, i agree that Deyi drum Major was the best. hahha. seriously, when comes to display band, there are only 3 bands that i looked out for. TK, Bowen and Deyi. All 3 bands got Gold. ahhaa. WELL DONE.! how i wish BMB will be like that. ): work hard for SYF, okay BMB? (: next year's ur turn!! hahaha.

okay. so my job is done. photos are up. and this blog is updated.! (: till then.

im shoo-ing off. hahahha! (:

2008-04-13T15:26:00.004+08:00

a must watch kinda thing. haha! (:

presenting, Syak and Fifah.!!!

2008-04-11T16:23:00.002+08:00

I SERIOUSLY WANNA POST PHOTOS, BUT IT SEEMS LIKE MY BLUETOOTH IN MY LAPPY IS NOT CO-ORPERATING WITH ME. IRRITATING.!

anw, HAPPY 17TH TO NURUL....!! WUUUUU.. I KNW IT'S KINDA BELATED, BUT WTH. HAHHAA. STAY HAPY ALWAYS!! AND I MISS YOU!!

haha. had a wonderful time with dear and aqidah for the past few days. haha. need not mention here for now., but when i can FINALLY POST PHOTOS, den i tell u. (:

i caught up with bucket list the other day and the show was rather... touching. i cried at the last part. hahah.!! (:

okay. shall not update more. im so hungry and tired.!

toodles.

2008-04-08T15:28:00.002+08:00

SCHOOL'S IN, HOLIDAYS' OUT.

irritating. haha. first day was cool. as in.. nothing has been happening that much. just... simply meeting my course mates. haha. and yeah. their english is.... WOW. hahha. im not alone then. LOL. (: ok lah.

meet syakir everytime for his break. but irritating. my class starts at 8.30, while his is 9am. den.. my presentation starts at 2, his starts at 2.30. well, what to do? im in year 2. and seriously, ineed to get my brain juice squashing out. ahahhaha! (:

hmmm... wad else. oh yeah. i just finish class. im in class now. blogging. M203 was okay. plain boring. bt yesterday's M204 needs more thinking. it's about this cross-cultural communication. haha! take that. im learning abt other ppl's cultures. haha! yaaay-ness. but still, BORING. ugh.

i wish i could finish up my PP and CE by the end of year 2. oh ya oh ya! tlaking abt that.
u guys wana knw something??!

WED NO SCH FOR YEAR 2s in RP. (: except for those taking electives.
haha. i knw, i knw. sounds barbaric to some. haha~! (: dun jealous, wokay?

oh ya. im meeting dear later. he's going to cut his hair. i dunno where. maybe at sengkng? hah. (: and tmr i want want want want want to go out with him tmr. (: yaaaaaaay-ness. can u see my wide wide wide wide wide grin + smile ?! hahh.

ok ok. shall stop here. wana make a call to my dearest gerald. he's no picking up his phone. confirm he's playing with his psp, or he's blasting his songs into his ears. ugh.

till then, ppl. (:

oh aqidah, when u read this, i want u to knw that u are dearly missed by nur afifah. (:

2008-04-03T16:25:00.004+08:00

i seriously, i got a lot things to type. but, i dunno why these fingers are all lazyyy to do the job. haha. nvm. i'll try my best.

so, syakir attended his first day of orientation yest. and there's a BIG FAT JOKE happened yesterday. hahhaha. ask me if u really wanna know. im so dumb at times. haha! and syakir won the title of... "FRESHMEN OF THE DAY + YEAR" in my eyes. cause u knw wad? after he attended class and presented.. and his block area there's no more ppl and seems deserted.. omg.. he asked me this question..

"eh.. dah habis sekolah kan?"
in english.. "eh, sch finish alrd right??"

i swear i laughed my heads off. of coz ended lah! i tink he got lotssa things in mind. i dunno what is it, but ugh. haha. nvm lah eh. let my cousin be. haha.

today, i attended sch again, with him, and sent him off to his orientation day 2. hahha. i met him and coincidentally, met his punk classmate. omg. he is really one hell of a punk. hahaha. his name is daryl. hahah. and we then walked to sch.

after syakir went off with his SIT, i met Dora, Eunice, Mira and some of my CCC mates. hah. ok lah. it was very fun. and den, i went to reformat my com. ok. listen to this.

IT TOOK 5 CONSTIPATED HOURS.

haha. irritating. but the guy who did my com.. was cool.. and i kinda pity him lah. so many coms to attend to. haha. ok.
halfway through i met hafiz. yes. hafiz. the hafiz misngadi who always disturb me in 4e3, always make me laugh during POA lessons, the hafiz whom i caught sleeping durin Malay lessons, the hafiz who shared Oreo cookies with me, the hafiz who always make smile! hahhaa. it's nice to chat with him. it's been awhile. isnt it, frend? (:

haha. other than that, i dun think i wanna update more. im freaking tired. haha.

oh. one more thing.

I MISS NUR AQIDAH AND OUR MAKAN SESSION.
I WANNA MEET GERALD TAN!

2008-03-31T16:06:00.003+08:00

this guy up there, i miss him. (: tmr will be our 22nd monthsary and i dunno if i could go out. i'll explain why, below.

i kinda hate it when i fall sick. esp when it comes to fever. for real.

my body has been aching like nobody's business, im burning inside like there's no ending, i feel cold outside like im in antractica or something.
all this thanks to geraldtan. yes. passed me that stupid virus. and tmr is my 22nd monthsary. ): i wanna go out. but. ugh. look. i realy hope for a miracle to happen and my fever will GO AWAY.

lotssa things happen these few days. im oh-so-lazy to ype everything in here. but the last outing that i could remember was the outing with syakir, mirah and geraldtan. and kind enuff, geraldtan bought me a $50 bag, which i love love love. (: (not to mention, i love him more.) but as usual, there's always something on the other hand. he passed me his super, contagious, could-be-deadly virus. omg. i drank gallons of water and i dunno when can this fever goes down. last temperature took was in the afternoon at it hit 38.9. why not make it 39.0? round off. idiotic. ugh. GOD. help. i really wanna go out. i hate this. but nvm. i must, shall, be strong. hah!

so finally, syakir (my cousin) could get into RP. yes. i can meet him everyday in sch, and we can talk for 3290849032740832748340138043291874 hours in sch. be it thru msn, or wadnot. (: and my class for year 2 sem 1 is E66E. I like. as in... the class alphabets and numbers. haha. and i knew abt my class when sam talked to me online. goodness. there's sam, dawn, zaty, cheryl and more. haha. some of them could possibly be my partners in crime. they can drive me insane. ad with that, motivates me to work work work harder in sch. i really really wanna go NTU. ugh. kks. enuff bragging. i cant wait for sch to open, cause im broke( which means there's no point going shopping with my gfs) and i wanna meet my frends once again. ugh.

and and and. i miss nur aqidah, i love geraldtan. (:
till then.
i wanna hit the sack.

so why din't the sun shine, love?

2008-03-26T21:56:00.002+08:00

la la la. (: hahha. im so so so frustrated with blogger. seriously. i tried to upload some expired pictures. but in the end, ouh. stupid server. hahaha. i realy hope they can be more EFFICIENT. haha. (: i wanna update more photos abt my cousin's wedding, swimming with the dolphins and performance at nanyang girls high. (: haha.

but blogger just gave me those adrenaline rush. ugh.

nvm lah eh, haha. well, i update some other time, can can can? (:

and dear AQIDAH, im looking forward to our KFC session. (: hahaha.

today just talk to EO. was explaining some things to him abt my lappy. im so so not happy with this win 32 virus. looks like i have to reformat my lappy. and yes, i have an external hard disk to transfer all my movies, photos and music. (: hahha. yaay-ness. (: well, maybe im going to do it next week. and EO is so so kind enuff, to acompany me to sch and reformat my com. ahaha. i miss him loads. i heard zai qiang will be coming too! hahha. my china boys. LOL.

i need to buy a new eyeliner and eyebrow pencil. my mum lost her cosmetic pouch and i lend her some of mine. but i decided to give it to her. hahaha. it's nt as if she gt none left, but she just dun wanna use new ones. hahha. so in the end, i thought of going SASA to check our stuffs there. haha. or maybe john little or something. i love maybelline eyeliner, pls. haha. (: shall see how. ask dear come shop shop with me this fri. well, that's a MAYBE. haha.

well, i guess i shall end here. i wanna watch american idol. WUUUU.

and you, yes yes. I love you. <3
(:
p.s: dun work so much. i miss you alrd. ):

2008-03-26T00:05:00.003+08:00

reply to tags.

aqidah: haha. (: okay. with u arnd, i wunt shed a tear!
gerald: this moment must be celebrated. finally u tagged. (: haha. alrite. i wunt get angry at you, but.. u must play ur part too. and erm.. haha. i love you too.

so today watched step up 2. was alright lah. i think i prefer step up 1. hahaha. LOL.
den.. saw kak yah. at raffles city. she's working there. gloria jeans. dear gonna start work and kinda send him off there.
den bought donuts from j.co and went to meet aqidah to eat them all up. LOL. very filling. (:
and den we chat abt our secondary sch times... haha. oh so funny. our dirty little secrets are out. LOL. all the best for ur paper, girl! (: hahaa.
other than that.. nothing much. hahha. (: i feel happy today and i dunno why.

i simply wish this happiness will last. at least a little longer. (:

2008-03-24T21:17:00.002+08:00

i'll start blogging about a riddle that i came across today.

"What bone grows longer and shorter?"
- trombone.

hah. i find it lame, but whenver i hear the word trombone, my heart starts to jump with joy. i dunno why, but i feel happy when i start picking up my trombone and play some songs with it.
so that brings me to my recent event. performance at nanyang girl's high audi with the BMB. and my, i do look like the "old" one there. i miss the times when i fall in with the entire band, setting up my instrument and joke with my members inside the store room, laugh at mr leng's jokes, conducting my section during sectionals, wearing my striking band skirt and basically, everything abt band. i even miss those punishments that my section got due to our loudness and craziness in band. oh god. see how fast time passed by. everything seems lke in a blink of an eye. too bad aqidah was not there to perform with us. she decided to study for her supp paper. i beg, i plead i did watever i can to ask her perform. but she cant let go of her HPI,maths and cellbio. well, nvm. studies comes first. no doubt bout that. and there weren't enuff trombone. but that was never a problem. hais. i miss her whenever she didnt come band. i still remember how we started of together in band. haha. we never once had a real senior to teach us from basic. all i can remember was aizat, who taught us whenever we ask him how to play that note. other than that, we were laughing all the way during band.

so after 1 year plus since i last had a serious practice with BMB, i felt happy once again. time passed by so fast till im scared. im scared that i couldnt catch up with it. now then i realize wad can cheer me up even though im facing the bitterness part of life. playing with the band, touching my trombone, opening the black file.. all these seems to keep me happy. no wonder why thruout 4 years in sec sch, whenever i have any problems, after band, everything seems to calm down. and now, i realize where i can find peace, fun and laughter. (:

that night, during the performance, gerald came. when we sat at the back, waiting for our turn to perform, i saw him sitting in front. alone. and suddenly, i dunno why, i feel like crying. i swear. so, just to divert my attention, i open my black file and looked at the phantom of the opera score. deana, my junior knew i was flipping the file as she was beside me. after sucha a long time, i see that charming face. and after that glimpse, all those anger and disappointment, were all gone.... i start to feel weak... and this heart.. became soft. i duno why. and den when the pri sch band finish performing, he came and sat at the empty seat, beside me. he didnt look at me. and den, my heart began to smile. he turned and say hi. and smiled. and my juniors were making fun of it. haha. out of embarrasment, i told him he cant sit here. because all the performers were there. and so, he sat behind. he watch closely till the end of BMB performance. he took a video of us playing tequila. (: and its nice. damn nice.

after perf, we went back bartley and he took 156 to my place. i met him at MacD after sorting out things back at bartley. and things seemed alright for both of us. how i wish i could stop the time and let things to continue simply this way. how i wish. bt at the same time, i realize something. if only i have lesser expectations from him, things wil turn out better. and yeah. im workin on it.

someone once told me that secondary school will be the best part of ur life. i used to disagree to that statement. but now, without me even asking myself, i admit that it WAS the BEST part of my life. everything seems great during those 4 years. im happy that i have the one bit of those memories. i have him. at least he's part of those beautiful memories. and i want it to remain that way. but as days passed by, time, ppl and the environment seems to change... and i have to adapt to it as quickly i can, before ilose everything that i've been holding on to since years....

it's late now.
wish u all good night. (:

The more I try to sort through it all, the more the tears come.
Even when I try to steal it, the memories spread into different memories through the tears that I shed.
It makes me cry so painfully.

I love you, I love you
These words have become a habit and these words are among the many I’ve learned from you.
I sit around alone mumbling to myself like a fool.

and that's when i realize, i really, love you.

2008-03-21T04:28:00.002+08:00

i know it's very late right now. everyone seems to be sleeping soundly.. however.. my mind is totally not in peace. I dunno why.

i met mr asmadi today at bartley. he brought me and aqidah to his office. and we kinda talked and joked, as per normal. and then he started asking questions. and there's one question that is playing on my head since he asked. he was asking how were things between me and bf. i wish i have an answer to that. i told him everything is okay. and there are ups and downs. and even though his reply was only a few words, at least it seems conforting to me. he said that it is a usual thing. and i was thinking. what seems ok, and wad doesnt?

thruout this relationship.. i might push the blame to gerald even though i knw it's totally my fault. i dunno why these few days my mind is in a blank. i am tired of arguements, im tired of everything. i stopped getting angry. i stopped being worried. instead, i start to get things confusing. i told him once that i wanted to temember this holiday together. but not this way. how i wish he knws how my heart felt. i dunno what is happening arnd me now. all i knw is that i have a wonderful family that could at least see the joy that im spreading.

but these few days, i apologize for the things i have not done wrong. and all these may seems weird for those who knew me. i really miss the way things were. i miss my life. i miss those secondary school times. i miss the moment of that lovely feeling i have towards him. sadly, right now, i dunno whether im walking to the right path. he's busy working day till night and cant meet me. at the most, 5 msg per day. 7 days of working per week. how can i live with that? and i thought when he took his day off, we could spend time together.. in a happy way. but i dunno why things turned out differently. i dunno why. i wish i could turn back the time. i really wish.

i dun have so much expectations from him. i just need someone who could give and take in this thing. it's been a long time since we met. i dunno wad's happening arnd him. wad he does, how his life have been for the pas weeks. i start to feel insecure again.

and then mr goh asked why the tickets for the concert has not been selling properly. just last night gerald called up and asked for the ticket to see my concert. i was happy and excited at that moment. but.. i dunno why.. something then stopped me from being too happy. mr leng told us that when we are up there to perform, dun ever once think abt other matters. always feel the music and let the audience appreciate it. but for once, for once this heart of mine cant rest. i cant see myself playing beautifully and harmoniously to a large crowd where i knew.. he is somewhere up there looking at me from a distance. it's been a long time since i met him and... i dunno why... i have this feeling that.... i dun even want to see him ever again. i dunno wad is the reason. is it because he simply breaks my heart? or is it because he hurt me too much, till i cant afford to see that charming face? i dunno. i told myself that im not prepared to see him yet. and im passing his ticket tmr. i guess, i make a quick one and i'll be off. tmr is a public holiday and he will still be working day and night. if that is wad he wants, den i cant stop him. thats the reason why i locked myself in silence and see where is this heading to. but i feel... this is getting too far. im afraid i might get drowned in my own assumption of things.. or even get lost in the jungle of thoughts. i dunno.

so walking back to a familiar path.. meeting my secondary school teacher.. makes me... a student there once again. and i admit that i miss mr asmadi. so does aqidah. even though we both might laugh here and there.. we still miss those good times when we were in his class. as what aqidah said, he might be reading our blog. and even if he read this, i just wanna say that he has been a great and awesome teacher. not only as someone who educates us, but someone who we could trust and share our problems with. someone that can be called..... a friend.

i dunno what will happen next between me and gerald. i dunno what is he thinking. i dunno what is he doing. i dunno what is he feeling. does he miss me? does he love me? does he...... treat me as a frend now? i dunno. i keep on praying. i hope God could light up my way and show me the right path in this difficult situation. i know He will help me. i believe in Him. as for now, i will spend my days with those who appreciate me and at the same time, keep those problems on hold. i've put in my effort in solving my problems. and im tired of it. but that doesnt mean i give up. i just want to have a rest and take a "breather". im sure He up there will help me too. Insyallah.

2008-03-17T22:47:00.002+08:00

and so, i was invited to perform at nanyang girls high. i accepted it. together with derek. hah! (: so the perf is on this sat. will be wearing black formal clothes. tickets will be 10 bucks per person. haha. do approach me if u guys want it. (: shall tell the seniors back at BMB. (: and i attended band prac. heard that we wil be playing tequila(again) and phantom of the opera. tdday kinda bonded witht he sec 1s again. and im so so so sad+disappointed that aqidah couldnt make it. :( i think she's busy with her sch stuffs. nvm. one day i'll drag her to my crib and make brownies! (: haha. and then.. this sunday.. plan to go out with leo and the rest, again. (: yay-ness!

imy.
plscomebacktomeassoon.
imsimply,devasted.

2008-03-15T23:41:00.002+08:00

sometimes.. i really wonder.. where does all those happiness went. hais.

cousin just came back from honeymoon at bali. bought us a shirt. ok lah. nice. i mean, very nice. haha. (: thanks, eh. (:
and then.. while i was walking back home.. penny for my thoughts:

i can see everyone's love. i mean.. love as in.. the care and affection towards the person whom they are close to. put aside family members. they are different. but i saw my aunt just now, after 3 whole days of not meeting her. i miss her, like totally. i mean.. all of her children are all married.. her last son just got married. and now, things began to settle down. i saw my niece and nephew.. hah. everyone is being loved. its not that im out of love, or.. lacking of love from ppl. no. but seeing ppl falling in love, or being simply happy.. makes me....... happy. yeah.

after so much i've been through with him all this while, and to be exact, 21 months.. i dunno wad else can i give. i mean.. i duno whether this is the love that im talking and dreaming abt. yes, its too early and too young to talk abt it. but.. teenage nowadays are alrd growing up faster than wad adults can think. i duno who i am now. i dunno what's wrong. again, putting aside family, i think i have a great bunch of frends who are willing to share their happiness with me. but how long can that last? i need to find a soft place where my happiness can be kept as safe as poossible. when i met him, i thought his heart was the best place. however, it turned out to be something different.

looking back at the things i've done, i think i can come to a point of agreement, that i am totally lost. trap within myself. not too deep yet, but simply, trapped. i've been through a lot of things and therefore, i can evaluate wads seems to be right, and what is wrong.

maybe i should let things go. and maybe, its my nature, to see other ppl's happiness as my happiness too. maybe, without him, things will be back to normal.

while im walking back home. i thought abt it awhile. what's becoming of my life with him? how much longer can we keep this love alive? im sure things will be fine, for the few days ahead. im sure. without him, i'll be happy. without him, i can do the things i love. and maybe without him... i could find my happiness, once again. maybe. (:

2008-03-14T22:46:00.006+08:00

this is a must to post about. today, i went sentosa with my family, aunt and cousins, to SWIM WITH THE DOLPHINS AT SENTOSA. it's one hell of a fun, i tell you. the dolphins are big, strong, cute and.. funny. hahhaa.

mummy and daddy took leave since last wed. we were suppose to go KL but in the end, we didnt due to the bad weather. we went sentosa though, but it rained. so so sad. so, we just went to underwater world and dolphin lagoon for free. thanks to aunty! she works there and everything seems to be FOC or discounted. hahaha! i love her. LOL. so last wed was just an OKAY outing for my family. den on the followind day, thurs, we went JB. bought lotsssa stuffs and as expected, ate delicious scrumptious food. LOL. hahaha. den today, which is the best friday i ever had in my life. hahah. we went sentosa again, by request of my aunt, to swim with the dolphins. ahahhaa. not everyone can swim,okay! hahha. it cost $150 per person and it's only a 45mins programme. but i tell you, it's damn worth it lah. hahha! (: but again........ my bro and i dun have to pay for it............ (pretend i didnt say that. hah!)

so.. today. i woke up at 7 am. left hse to at 8.15 to fetch my cousins(Nana, Nora & Nina) next block. mum and dad have to go, cause they have to sign this form. well, they need to ensure we are fit and anw, we're below 21. dad drove all the way to sentosa after that. reach there arnd 9am. changed and the briefing starts at 9.15am. (: there were 15 of us, includig the staffs of sentosa, which includes my aunt. haha. den we were broken up into smaller groups. (: 3 groups. so just nice, my aunt, her 2 daughters and me and bro. 5 of us. (: hahha. Nana couldn't swim cause she have to workunderwater world.., as offered by her mum, which is my lovely aunty. haha. den the trainer told us the DOs and DON'Ts, hand signs and stuffs. den we have to disinfect our hands. (: haha. den.. time to take photo with the dolphin. first, we met Pet. he's cute. and.. ok lah.. matured alrd. haha. cause he got more pink skin than grey. and the cameraman is my aunt's frend. and he let us took nice nice photos. hahaha! (: den we could feed them.. and.. yea. nice. (: den we proceed on to the other side, and ket talking to Pet. haha. he's so cute. haha. we sang, we danced together. (: he even paint something for us!! isnt that fantastic?! hahaha. and yeah. secondly, we met Han. She's adorable. seriously. she's younger than Pet, i suppose. haha. this time round, we are alrd int he deep waters. haha. we float arnd the water.. quiet deep, though. hha 20m, i think. yeah. den.. we played with Han.. feed her... she danced, we danced... den the best think, she gave us a great ride on her back! hahha. she carried us arnd the lagoon and we just have to relax and follow her.. haha. must hold tight. but not too tight! can be sensitive. esp to the youger ones. one by one, turn by turn, she swim with us. haha. while i was holding on to her, i can feel her tail... hahha.. and then.. fnally, we met Splash. he's CUTE. and young. still a bit greyish. ahaha. (: seriously, i love him. we took loads of photos.. he gave each of us a surprise, by kissing us on the cheek. (: and even shook hands with him. hahaha.! (even though he got no human hands.) Lol. haha! den Splah also gave us a great ride on his back. haha!
overall it was fun. once we finish, the first batch of crowd came into the lagoon. it's showtime for the trainers! hahaa. den we have to leave... okay. here comes the pictures. but these are the pictures tht mum took. not the staffs. they staff ones are not ready. so when they are done tranferring and burn it into a disc, i will show u guys! (: okay? hahaha!

meet Splash. (: he's showin his moves to us.
from left to right: trainer, my bro, nora, me, aunt ayu and nina. (: Pet is painting for us.
look mum! see how Han is bringing me arnd the lagoon! hahha. i dun think u all can see her properly. she's under water.
watch Pet jump!
Finale. haha. say goodbye!
Pet and Me.
Feeding Pet. Haha. so cute!

before the swim.
from left to right: bro, nana, me, nora and nina. stars of the day!
meet nora
meet nina
meet bro

just reached sentosa! left to right: nora, me, dad, nana, bro, nina.
say hello.
getting ready to dip into the water! bro trying out his shoes, aunt ayu looking at her diving shoes, im searching for my size. hahaha! peace!
say helo, again.
omg. really. omg. if u get what i mean.

anw, photos are in random orders.

tc! more photos will be up soon!

2008-03-11T01:01:00.002+08:00

It's like arnd 1am right now and im suppose to sleep. but as usual, im stubborn. hah. these few days my body felt so weak. i dunno why. my appetite is growing larger. ugh. today i had fun with bro. we went to the interchange and stuffs. i got this craving for donuts. ugh. bought some at Glacier. and yes, it melts wonderfully in my mouth. hah! dun jealous. (: i knw aqidah will. hahha! and it rained just now. so bro and i walked in the rain, since we didnt bring umbrella. dad alrd went back to the ofice and couldn't drive us back home. bro and i borrowed 2 Cds. and we rot ourselves at home. (: oh, tell me 'bout it! (:

and yes, im hitting the sack soon...
have something on tmr.
(:
night night.

the responsibility is in you.
face it. nothing will change things.

2008-03-09T22:32:00.002+08:00

LIKE FINALLY, the wedding is over. yeah. hahha. LIKE FINALLY shasha is my cousin. LIKE FINALLY i can don't rush to and fro geylang for errands. LIKE FINALLY, everything falls into place. but i miss the kecoh-ness. hah. (: photos will be up real soon. not today. i stil can feel the tired-ness of the wedding. haha. but nvm. it's all worth it. i can't believe that my cousin got married. i will miss those times together. cause.. i treated him just like my elder brother. and we used to have lots of fun, going out.. doing the simplest things that can make us happy. hahha. (: but now, he got a wife. haha. and yes, his wife = my pri sch best friend's sis. (: hahhaa. oh. can't think abt it. it gets my adrenaline running. hahaha. but im used to it, with her arnd. she's more like an elder sis to me, rahter than cousin. (: for REAL. hahha. she's cute lah. really. i called them the care bear couple. hahahaa. (:

*some random thoughts *
i dunno wad i will do if my aunt doesnt exist in this world anymore. i seriously cant magine things. she is just like my mother. all her kids are married, and she's a grandma. but she brought me up since the day i was born. im not saying that mum is not in use or something. hah. of coz mum is my first priority. but seeing her shedding tears yesterday... makes me feel that she's alrd old. and... i just dun want her to leave, just like my grandma. i havent have the best out of them. i mean.. my late grandma was an awesome-legendary woman. no one can ever be as soft and patient as her. and my aunt.. i think.. she's... just like her.. soft in heart. if she goes off one day.. i will surely miss her cooking. n i will miss everything abt her. i really hope she could see how much i appreciate her. until now, she take care of me... feed me well.. ask me wat i want. sometimes, i think she pampered me more than mum. hah. imagine... 18 years.. she's been taking care of me. thats long enuff to love her, as much i love grandma. (:
no matter what, i still love you, aunt. always, forever. <3

i fell back at square 1.
i dun want my love to end this way.
but what's left is still a question.
and why must i be the one crying out loud?
is it difficult to love you?
tell me that i'm not alone, love.

the heart once ask the body.
"if u're sick, who do you look for?"
and the body replied,
"the doctor. how abt u? if u're sick, who do you look for?"
and the heart goes..
"myself. i'll look for myself. cause with this heart, comes strength, determination and LOVE."

2008-03-07T16:38:00.002+08:00

and so, cousin's wedding will be tmr. but seriously, i dunno why i am so nervous. maybe im excited? i dunno. finaly my pri sch best frend can be my relative! haha. yes. my cousin is getting married to my best frend's sis! (: isnt that great? hahaha. yeah. cant wait for the wedding. haha. tonight, i'll be going to the bride's place with my dad to fetch the wedding clothes/stuffs. i hope it will be a fast one. (:

im at home with grandma and bro now. grandma just came over last night. haha. ok lah. not bad. she did her inspection on my room, as usual. haha. she's always like that. so cute. haha! (:

nothing much now. anyway, im using the lappy outside the hse. at the corridor. windy here. haha. nice nice nice! (:

bf have been working non-stop this week. i miss him and yes, i am worried abt him. work till so late. 11+pm. omg. he's handling 2 jobs at 1 time. i dunno why! he got money, still work work work so hard. aha! now he's at suntec. doing the IT show. ok lah. (:
and i knw u read my blog dear. haha!

alright then. shall end here. (:

2008-03-06T00:12:00.002+08:00

i'mn suppose to be in bed right now. but even i dunno why i'm here blogging. hah. but hey. wth. i just wanna say..

I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND.

is that enuff for u, mr gerald tan? hah. (:
ok. shall blog more some other time. (:
nite nite.

u, dun work too much.
i miss u ):
take care.
ilysm. (:

2008-03-01T14:54:00.004+08:00

and so, the days were fine.
however, seriously, im so so scared. thanks to MAS SELAMAT BIN KASTARI.
i wonder wad is he upto next.
and i will pray pray pray that he will get caught REAL SOON.

yesterday i had fun with aqidah and nurul. too sweet to elaborate. LOL. i simply love love them. (:
and i drank starbucks twice, thanks to nurul. it's free! hahhaa. (: omg. she's really adding up to the percentage of my fats in my body. ugh.
and here are the photos.

Leggies
this is why we're hot.
awwww...
picture of the day
aqidah, muka stop it eh! & i dunno why my hair color seems boring at certain angles!
wah seh. wanita melayu terakhir. hahah!
BRACESSSSSS.

hair color: BORING. -.-"

kiss kiss!

i say peace yaw. wuuuuuuu.

i knw i have to return things that doesnt belong

to be at the first place... but..
i'll me counting still.

happy 21st love.

&... i'll be waiting.

2008-02-26T22:50:00.004+08:00

hah. been busy lately for cousin's wedding. really. not busy as in.. doing all the "admin" stuffs. but.. busy as in.. finding accessories and clothes to groom ourselves. LOL. went geylang for at least 3 times for the past few days. busy searching for my cousin's clothes. they wanna have this theme colour going on. and n the end, i was the odd one out. mum chose this PURPLE color baju kurung. and yes, PURPLE. u all knw i got this trouble with purple. so in the end, everyone said it was very sweet. and okay. close one eye. i just bought it. but i think my eyes will go blind if i see myself wearing it. it is no longer closing 1 eye! but nvm. i'll try my very very very best to wear it. haha!

so today i went geylang with cousin and aunt. ok lah. nth much. i was more like an assistant to them. carry loads of stuffs. but in the end, it was worth it. haha. aunt treat me for food and even gave me 20 bucks as tips. but den, i dun accept that money. but she gave 10 bucks and persuade me to take it. but i beg her to keep it. haha. and so... in the end, i got that 10 bucks. haha! another 10 bucks i rather her keep it. LOL. so tmr, im going back to geylang, to run errands for aunty AGAIN. ugh. den off to meet geraltanaikhow for movie with bro. watching L. yeah. that spin-off of death note. hah! i hope tmr's outing will be fun. I HOPE. if only geraldtanaikhow wun spoil my day with his attitude. ugh. anyways, nth much to update. ok. come. photos!

candid. so cute to see them talking to each other. ahha!
i swore that her mother was calling to her a million times to try out this outfit for the wedding. haha! and btw, her mum is my cousin. LOL. my niece!
haha. chupa-chups
and these. these small innocent-yet-a-devil kids. I love. (:
!

2008-02-22T21:49:00.005+08:00

hahaha. reply to tags!

pei rong > hahaha. lol. sweet? hahaa. thanks! urs sweeter, i think! see wad ur boyfy gave.. wah... hahahahha.

Pau_Lina > u crazy? u want me to scream/type/shout/whatnot ur full name? hahahaha. for wad? waste time only. LOL. hahaha. (: i rather scream my name seh. haha. oh. the photos i took at sentosa. it was during the flower garden festival. CNY period. i dunno if it's still there. u can check it out though! (:

Queen > Mum. please ar. i CAN jump. who says i cant? ugh. plz. hahaha. i knw u want me to lose weight. but. ehem. relax. (: i will explain things to u at home, ok? hahaa. anw, so free ar? hahaha. tag here. ur blog why never update? lazy right.. hahaha! later i and bro become victims at home.! haha. u knw wad i mean. :D

Sue > yes yes yes. the car is wad i call cool-ness and hot-ness.!! hahahhaha. i also want those car. nice nice nice. (: hahhaa. anw, thanks for ur comments! (: <3

oh ya. yesterday went to o a makeover of my hair. ok lah. not bad. hahhaha. i love my new hairstyle! (: thanks to that so so so so so so HOT professional. ouh. hahaha. even gerald is jealous that he attended to me more. LOL. hahahaa. thanks to KIMAGE.! two thumbs up! (: hahha. well, to knw more details, do approach me or something. hahaha! good story to tell bout yest! (: hahaha. ok then. here's the pic! i hope it's good. at least for a first timer. (: well, if u knw wad i mean. ugh. hahaha! oh ya. did i mention that i did technical color for my hair too? (: till then.! (:

without make-up.. haha. was late. duh.
haha. at KFC. after long hours, my stomach grumbled.!!!

2008-02-19T16:02:00.009+08:00

VALENTINE'S DAY 2008

the photo of the day!

and here i jump!
hahahha. flowers everywhere!
this looks creepy in a way for me, but i like. hahah!and yes, afifah looks retarded here. (:

the balloon just dun wanna co-operate with me!
peek-a-boom!

ouh. lovely.
she just cant stop peace-ing~!
feed the sting rays!
mono shark. haha. and dun ask. i got no idea wad i was doing.
awwwwww. so cute.... NOT.

CABLE CAR ride. damn, i was scared. ahhaha.
this is nice. two thumbs up!
okay. tourist of the year!
hello!
tram ride!

give me ur best shot!
cable car ride.
look,gerald!!! the fish is eating it!
i was forced to take this photo. stupid purple pineapple. =.=
this is nicE! (:

CHINGAY PARADE 2008

the break dancer. hot hot hot.!
they call this the hong bao river? yeah. shud be. haha.
look at this. this is wad i call... HOT-NESS.
and then we met our dearest frend, SHAWN. hahah! he was assisting some of the performers. we saw some bartleyans there too!
harley davidson. WOW. eye-catcher.

the lions were so so close, till we couldnt get all of them in the pic. hahaha!
she rocked the float! ahahhahaa.
i like her clothes. nice!
and here we are! at "the glorious dead" hahaha. well.. those of u who knows, hahahaha. good! haha.
just finish throwing something, and he captured this. thats were i realized, there's more work to be done for my fats!

ferrari. it showed me some love that night! wooots!
name it. lamborghini, maserati, ferrari!
this uncle is so cute. we were suppose to take photo of him and the car. instead, he took US. hahha. cute uncle!
and then, there were star wars! i dun understand why are they there. haha! but nvm. we enjoyed it. the costumes we great!
hahahha. darth vader! (:

and there goes the photos! i hoped u guys enjoyed! (:

2008-02-17T16:07:00.002+08:00

haha. back back back. okay. finally there's time to blog. LOL. okay. come. let's re-cap.
the last time i talked abt.. was the chinatown outing with Gerald.. which was.... hmm.. 6 feb. pictures also uploaded alrd, for that event. okay. take it from there.

7&8 February 2008
went to chalet! wuuu. mum's side. hah. it was at costa sands resort, pasir ris. damn fun lah seh!! aiyo. haha. esp with syakir's(cousin), frends. Su&Nurin. adorable! hhaha. there's lotssa things happen. well.. of coz there were the bloopers and stuffs there. haha. esp with those crazy ppl arnd. and guess wad? gerald's chalet is just... 3 blocks away only! just opposite. so so so so COINCIDENCE. hah. really. but too bad, he's not at "home". because he went out to visit relatives cause its CNY! hah. omg. i dun even knw why his family book a chalet during CNY. weird weird weird. hah. den the next day, we went wild wild wet. haha. dang those mamas. really. the whole place was polluted by them. no offence. as in.. wad im trying to say is that.. they are all over the place. hah! so.. thruout the entire chalet, it was fun. although both days i didnt manage to see gerald, but its okay. at least i have fun with my loved ones! the chalet was supposed to be 3D2N. but.. we only stayed for 7-8, which is 2 days. cause... the next day. my family have to go to Batu Pahat, for wedding. dad's side. yeah.

so.. 9 February 2008
woke up so damn early. arnd 7am. just to get things ready to go batu pahat. it's one and a half hour of driving, from johore to batu pahat. ugh. i swear, my butt hurts alot. hah! didnt wear so.. traditional... cause, its a long journey! even though dad drive fast, i was afraid that i might screw up my looks during the long drive. well, u knw, i just ugh. cant stop moving arnd. haha! even in the car, yes. haha. so reached there.. i was so freaking shocked, for sure. haha. it's kampung life! hhaha. and its my first time, attending a kampung wedding. well.. it might be a bit "unorganised" or something, as in.. the place. but i sure have fun! hahha. i saw them cook the rice.. wow. no electricity involved. (i think) cause.. they use the traditional method of cooking. haha. not to worry. pictures will be up soon. and... well.. dad brought me and mum arnd, to look at the backyard. dad said, there are monkeys inside, who attack ppl. omg. i was scared, i tell u. hah! the wedding was okay, overall. i didnt eat though. was full at that time. and since its a long journey, i dun wanna take a risk for my stomach. hah! and then.. we went ayer hitam for a quick shop, with aunt. i mean.. all along, my aunt was following us. cause she got no transport. (: yeah.. after that.. we went back singapore, ate at woodlands. den off we go home! (:

13 February 2008
a day before v-day. haha. went out with gerald. haha. we kinda celebrated v-day in advanced. haha. omg. there;s so much to type!!!!!! i dunno where to start first. i mean.. i really wanna tell u guys abt wad happened and all.. but.. it's just too exciting to say it all here. why not.. i type the main events... and.. beep/call or whatnot, to ask me for further details. hahahahah. i mean.. if u guys wanna know lah. LOL. nothing so secretive or wad. (:
ok. firstly, i got no idea where is he talking me. but blah blah blah blah, in the end, he bought 2 tickets for a cable car ride, to sentosa. and yes, we took the cable car. i couldnt remember when was the last time i eventually feel the ride. but.. just by having him sitting beside me.. in that car.. like... WOW. haha. and then we took photos at sentosa.... saw a few familiar faces... aunt gave us a complementary ticket to underwater world.. cause she works there. haha. and.. we ate at sakae sushi... den he bought me a balloon.. hahaha. nice nice nice nice nice!! (: really. he alrd gave me a bunch of flowers.. and ferrero rocher before i left home.. he came and fetch me from home. hahah. and.. hmmm.. wad else.. oh yeah.. den at night.. we went back to singapore island by the cable car again.. and the night scene was... awesome. so nice.. so breezy. haha. (: i couldnt have the chance to take a picture. it's so breath-taking. (: and i go home once we reach harbourfront. (: and that was my v-day. yes, MINE. (:

14 February 2008
haha. cousin took leave and i kinda went out with her. ahah. she's a cheater! haha. nvm. long story. it was her daughter's bdae. isnt it cool to have ur bdae on v-day? ugh. jealous seh!!! hahhahhaahahah! but she's back at her mum's place awhile, which is my aunt's place! so, in the morning, i went to geylang market with aunt. hah. den helped her carry things back to her place and saw cousin. den arnd afternoon, we went out to J8. she treated me to swensens and bought me a perlini silver necklace. haha. thanks for that, cousin! hahhaa! (: den nth much lah. went home. (:

15 February 2008
went for chingay preview with gerald! hahahahaha. fun fun fun fun fun fun!! realllllyyyy! saw vintage cars... harley davidsons... sports car and the best one, F1...!! yes yes yes! hahhahaha. nth much happen, except for the awesoem floats and performances! (: came back arnd.. 11.45pm..

16 February 2008
went for cousin's bbq. her daughter's bdae was during v-day. but she push it to a weekend to celebrate it. so yeah. was at east coast.. nth much happened also. just the same thing.. bbq... relax.. talk.. eat.. ahaha. yup. wanted to stay overnight there.. but stomach got problem ar. hahah. so went home at night. reached home arnd...12 +am? haha. i dunno. shud be arnd there. LOL. didnt keep track of time. -.-"

17 Febraury 2008, Today.
yes. today. did nth much. really! mum cooked lunch. so.. yeah.. laze arnd.. nth much to do.. i was just thinking... what colour shud i dye my hair with. LOL. next friday im going to do a make-over with my hair. LOL. nth so special. but well.. cousin's wedding is coming right up. so.. i wanted to do something different. (: haha. yeah. so.. i guess that's all for now. (:
not to worry. PICTURES WILL BE UP REAL SOON. must wait patiently, okay? (:

till then, have fun ppl..! =D

2008-02-14T13:40:00.005+08:00

okay. firstly, again, reply to tags.

aqidah(: : wei. ape ni smile smile? hahaha!
passerby: thanks. (: hello!

so here are the photos which i said i'll upload. the chinatown thing. enjoy! (even though i lazy upload all of them. hello? we took using 2 cameras!) hahahha. i will update u guys abt my previous events and all tmr okay? (: not to worry. another set of photos coming right up. do look out for updates! (:

oh anw, happy VALENTINE'S day. hahha. i celebrated mine with gerald yesterday! hahha. well.. in advanced cause he is busy with work today. told u i got alot to tell abt! hahha. maybe tmr i talk abt it okay? till then, have fun ppl!!!! muahs!

2008-02-06T23:04:00.000+08:00

firstly, reply to tags.

queen: yeah. thanks mum. love you!

aqidah: hah. yeah. i know. but well.. patience, which im lacking. ugh. anw, jia you for the exams! (:

secondly,here comes the latest post.

hmmm.. let's put it this way. maybe God answered my prayers at last. today, which is the eve of CNY, i went out with..... him. yes, him. geraldtanaikhow. he asked abt this outing since last week, so... i find it bad not to accept. anw, waking along chinatown is really something i wanna do. sounds fun. seein the cultural exchange, esp during CNY period. (: so we walked like.. non-stop.. to and fro the lanes.. it kinda reminds me of petaling street at KL. serious! there were a lot of things that they were selling. pomelo, oranges, flowers, decoration, clothes. wow. and full of red color! (: and red is hot, i feel. (: the atmosphere was rather cool! there was this man, i saw... dressed up in shirt and shorts, selling balloons. hah. cute and colorful ones! gerald wanted to buy for me, but seriously, i felt that was unnecessary for an 18yearold. (: and and and, actually the best thing abt today's outing was that we took loads of photos!! gerald borowed the camera from his dad and he also brought along his personal camera. hah. we kinda exchange a few times to have the feel of taking photos from different cameras. (: this was not our first time that we took photos for events. it's been a few times though. haha. it's damn fun la! hahah. and then.. ugh! a lot of things happened... i met gerald's working frend. hah. the old uncle who sells chocolate. haha. cute uncle. we talked to him awhile when he was busy promoting his chocos. hah. den gerald bought a wallet, saw uncles playing chess, i stepped into IRRELEVANT stuffs (ask me abt it, and i tell u. hah. stupid muah chee) , we took more and more photos, we ate at macD (first time i upsize my meal! the weather was so freaking hot), took more photos, bought shorts, and then.......comes the interesting part. we talked. finally, we talked. as in....... we talked. abt us.

i asked him.. wad's happening now.. between us. and as usual, he says... NOTHING. he just kept quiet. and then.. the next minute, surprisingly, i didnt scream, lose my temper or wadeva. i just.... kept on talking abt my feelings. its not that i wanna be selfish or what. i had enuff of him sighing abt his side of the story. now comes mine. so. i told him abt wad i really felt deep within. and here goes part of the convo. the one that i could roughly remember, and i wunt forget.

whispering... talking softly.......
fifah: so.. how... what do u think i shud do?
him: i dunno.
fifah: wad u mean by u dunno..?
him: really, i dunno. (he kept quiet, giving me his weakest face expression)
fifah: okay... i just wanna tell u that... i will not forget the things that we've been thru.. time passed by and i was actually prepared for this thing to happen... it's the matter of time...... however.. i knw that u still loves me... (blah blah blah blah blah....)
him: i know.... (surprisingly, he didnt say sorry. and i was totally fine abt it. finally, he stopped saying sorry)
fifah: so.. how abt the future? are we going to be like this...? as in.. i-love-you-but-cant-be-together-and-im-stil-stuck? i dunno whether i can like/love a guy again.. what if i like another guy? or another guy like me?
him: den.. u must tell me.
fifah: why?
him: ...... (no answer)
fifah: and wad if another girl likes you later on?
him: i'll let her wait.
fifah: why?
him: i'll tell her to wait for u to find another guy.
fifah: why? if that girl really likes you? and she wait. wait wait.. wait.... how?
him: that means.. she have to keep waiting...
fifah: but why must she be the one to wait for ME?
him: at least, i wil be there for u. if u find another guy, i knw.. that u wunt be lonely anymore.

and from there, i swear i was going to cry. but instead, i held back my tears. he held my hands and the whole convo stops.

after that.. nth much more happened. more or less the same. on the way home, we took more photos and we kinda pretended that tat convo was just.. the way we clarify things. when we reached serangoon... he hug me and from that, i am assured.. even if im his gf or just frends from now on, i will be safe with him arnd. I will.

i saw the other side of him. and it was... amazing.

finally, my questions were answered. for 1 month, i was searching for those answers. i thank God for helping me all this while. now, i knw where i stand in his heart. somewhere deep down, my heart which he stole, will remain there in his. till this teenage love meets again.

2008-02-04T23:06:00.000+08:00

the reason why i cant sleep
the reason why the stars don't shine at night
the reason why everything seems polluted
the reason why i force myself to smile
the reason why things seems boring
the reason why i kept opening my drawer
the reason why my laughter was doubted
the reason why people starts to bully
the reason why the sun don't shine during the day
the reason why i felt something is missing
the reason why i wake up early in the morning
the reason why i don't go out
the reason why i don't eat
the reason why i kept watching dramas
the reason why i studied chinese
the reason why i started writing diaries once again
the reason why i cry
the reason why i got angry
the reason why i feel like givin up
the reason why i kept praying
the reason why i kept quiet sometimes
the reason why i kept staring into the sky
the reason why i stick with my family more
the reason why i chose my frends
the reason why i kept everything a secret
the reason why............................................ I LOVE.

CANT I BE HAPPY AND FORTUNATE FOR AT LEAST A WHILE? WHY CANT IT BE NORMAL? NEVER ONCE I GAVE UP ON THIS love.
EVERYDAY, THIS HEART IS PUT ON TRIAL.
"OBJECTION OVER-RULED, FIFAH!"
why..? ):

i stand across the street, holding on to memories
like the snow
a fleeting moment becomes cold
reaching out for more, but you've alrd left me behind
be gentle to whomever you meet tomorrow
love's beauty which you lacked, originally.

2008-02-03T21:51:00.001+08:00

and year 1 ends just like that. cant find words to describe feelings now. photos will help though.

to start it all, well, that's me. (:
faci gave us this. it cost abt 60bucks + per box!
Pei Rong ; me. she is so much loved. *zhi shu is hot, dun u think, girl?* LOLS.
shawn and i. we were "fighting: for the brownie? LOLS. hell yeah. credits to surani! (:
SEEMS SO WRONG, but wth. i LOVE her. hahahahah!! bestie Hannahhh!!! (: she's the cause of my addiction to taiwanese dramas. =.=

and SHE. my talk-abt-being-fat partner. i love her to the bits!!
call her elizabeth swan! oooops. no. elizabeth toh!

and the most irritating guy ever, DIN.
surani: din, why u look at fifah, not the cam?

din: because she act cute wad.

LOLS!

i swear i was re-telling then abt the movie "one missed call". damn candid, excpt my makan partner, Zoey!!! btw, she's the shortest one! LOL
and then we realized that surani was taking our photo!
hah. nerd. (: but she's damn loveable.
and here comes the camera-lady!!! SURANI..!! that sri lankan girl. haha. dun play play with her uh. GPA perfect 4.0!! she so like... SMART lah. but she's GORGEOUS. hah! as usual, credit the specs to Zoey, the cap... erm.. whose uh? ugh. STM.

and as for u,

goodbye.

2008-01-28T16:11:00.000+08:00

and these few days, things have been fine. so great, till i can feel the love!
but still.. there are some things that still linger in my mind.
things that i dun wanna think abt, but.... well... u knw.... uh. nvm.
lotssa things happened lately.
school.. life.. family.. alot to say.
but i dunno whether this happiness will last til the very end.........
no matter wad, i'l be fighting hard. fight till the end.

wad's left of that teenage love, dear?

2008-01-22T11:41:00.000+08:00

okays. look at edwin. his smile will forever be the same.!
awwwwww...... NOT.
BOREDOM strikes like mad.
i looookk.. BIG.

ouh. some random stuffs

and now.. wad's with leo?
wad's with edwin?

okay. i TOLD u i wanna be popular in KIDS CENTRAL.
DEPRIVED childhood!
Leo is always up to something!
okay. SK looks weird.
I like her last time, but i love her now.

at first i thought i was taking a pic with a ghost who doesnt wanna cross over. BLEAHS.

act act act act act cute. typical girls.
the main attraction is not me. that BALD guy.
this bag reminds me of my pri 1 sch bag. like REALLY. i miss snoopy. (:

2008-01-21T09:26:00.001+08:00

okay. here's the list of events that hapenned few days ago. (:

1) friday 18 Jan.
- went to sch as per normal, den halfway thru i left.
- met gerald. (uh. tell me 'bout it.)
- met up with cousin (syakir and mirah). omg. they are so adorable. asked me to teach them how to change blogskins and stuffs. so cute! syakir was so fickle minded till he cant decide which skin he wants. LOL. and mirah was like.. helpin him? LOL. and so, the rest of friday was okay. bought dinner at amk banquet. chicken rice. okay lah. not bad. reached home, bathe, prayed and then watched ISWAK 2 episode 5 with eng subs. (like finally). after that, snuggled up in bed.

2) saturday 19 Jan
- woke up early. ( i dunno why)
- went to fetch bro from tuition with parents and then had lunch at amk banquet. ate the double fish soup with rice. okay lah. (: den went home, rest awhile.
- went to amk hospital to meet uncle. den crazy cousins (syakir and mirah), played truth or dare. it was my idea though. but. with crazy people arnd, this game can never end without any laughter! i love when mirah was dared to sit just in front of the lift. like for real!! imagine if someone walk out of the lift! i think the person will get scared to death! hahahha.!
- after that went seiyu. saws alot of shoes there. but... ): so sad. i got this PROBLEM with shoes! hais. but nvm! i can find the nicest shoe that i can fit one day! im sure it will be a glass slipper! *dreams* LOL!
- went dinner at adam road. and well.. aunt scolded one driver. hahah, long story lah!

3) Sunday 20 jan
- went out with 2e1 clique! edwin, shu kang, fei say and leo. hahahha. very very very fun lah! haha. but so sad, trupti have to miss this one. ): due to her tuition. hais. nvm. we'll make it up for her one day. hahah! but im so so sure that yest's outing was the best one ever! we went bugis, walk walk.. ate at food republic, walk walk, went to muji and then to mu-ee and then to shaw. but in the end, we didn't watch any movie at all, due to limited movies and timings. haha. den.. we went sing post at paya lebar to sit down and chat. wanted to go to coffee bean, but got a lot of people. so, we head on to LJS. ordered iced-milo and fish fingers. ahah. leo ate AGAIN. haha. he can be my makan partner! LOL. and then we wet to fei say's mum's bakery shop. at aljunied. ahaha. nice nice! leo and i were eyeing at the choco mousse cake. stare and stare. hahah! (: so in the end, edwin and shu kang went to buy the waffles there. haha. then we took photos outside.. wah. damn nice. most of the people there was like wondering.. why on earth are they taking photos in the heartlands? ahhaa. yeah. after that, home sweet home! (:

so that summarises all. okay. here's the best part. BLOOPERS! ready? here we go.

1) at LJS...

leo: edwin, u sure u dun wanna eat?
edwin: yeah.
fifah: eh. must pamper urself once in awhile , u knw.
(edwin keeps quiet)
after 5 mins...
edwin: eh. wad is this called? (pointing to my drink)
fifah: oh. iced milo.
(edwin stood up and go to the counter)
fifah: finally we managed to brain wash edwin!
(edwin comes back with his milo)
edwin: why my milo dun have any milo powder toppings like u guys have?
all of us, except edwin: BLEAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!

2) outside muji..

fei say: eh. wanna go bugis street?
leo: huh? who stripped?
fei say: =.="
fifah: hahahahahhahahahahahahahahahha!
leo: i heard stripped
fifah: fei say. go. explain again.
fei say: dun want lah. later i vomit blood.
fifah: wanna go bugis street?!
leo: ouh.
shu kang and edwin: ?????

3) at bugis junction..

(leo picked up a CNY card)
leo: shu kang, look.
shu kang: eeee!
leo: so pervert lor! check the code. how much is this card?
fei say: oh. hmmm.. $5.50
leo: wah. $5.50 for a perverted face? not worth it!
(i was looking at the valentine's day card)
leo: fifah. dun emo emo. valentine's day should be happy.
fifah: huh? since when i emo???????
(i was reading the words on the card. so sweet lah can? haha)

4) at LJS..

(we were talking about celebs. den. it derives to this...)
fifah: oh yeah. like pamela anderson. she died right?
fei say: hahahaha
leo and edwin: huh? she died?
leo: since when she died?
fifah: i dunnno! i heard she died?
edwin: no lah. she's nto dead yet.
fifah: really ar? omg. den who died in the hotel? the one that came out in the news?
edwin: hmm.. which one?
leo: got ar.... hmmmm..
(1 min later)
leo: oh. i know. mandy moore
fei say, fifah: huh?! hahah.
fifah: i thought she's still alive? i thought she is the one acting in 'a walk to remember'?
leo: huh? not her meh?
everyone: ????
(2 mins later..)
leo: oh! i know. anna nicole something right??
fifah: oh yes yes!!! correct.
leo: haha. omg. we cursed all the wrong people. haha!
fifah: yeah. omg.

okay! that's all..! hahahha. okay. pictures will be up real soon! (:
look out for updates!! (:
till then...!

2008-01-17T20:53:00.000+08:00

You're in my arms
And all the world is gone
The music playing on
For only two

So close together
And when I'm with you
So close to feeling alive

A life goes by
Romantic dreams must die
So I bid mine goodbye
And never knew
So close was waiting
Waiting here with you
And now, forever, I know
All that I want is to hold you
So close..

So close to reaching
That famous happy end
Almost believing
This one's not pretend
Now you're beside me
And look how far we've come
So far
We are
So close...

Oh, how could I face the faceless days
If I should lose you now?

We're so close to reaching
That famous happy end
Almost believing
This one's not pretend
Let's go on dreaming
Though we know we are
So close

So close, and still
So far...

and i bid my last goodbye.

2008-01-15T23:52:00.000+08:00

.. all i need is a good rest. proper sleep.
& everything will be okay.

yes. everything will be.

2008-01-12T20:14:00.000+08:00

i still can't find the right words to describe my feelings. but deep downm i know that i've changed. Maybe for the better? i dunno. all i know is that i've moved on. actually, there's a lot f things that i wanna share. however, there's mixed feelings abt myself and all ic an say is that it seems like a roller coster ride.

after the break up, i delt as id i've lost something in my life. but it's been weeks now and things changed. it just make me stronger. maybe all i need is time? i'm slowly recovering my confidence towards everything. this feeling is rather familiar but sometimes, it contradicts.i thank God that i can be myself all over again. memories should be kept and the bitterness should be put away.as what my friends say, it's tough but i'm sure i can do it. and yes, i made it. i'm sure things wil turn out great in the future.

in school the other day, i had a BFF talk with my dearest hannah. she was great! i love her to the bits. she understood my wants and needs. fizzy too! she's adorable. (: and yeah! i did have fun talkng to her. i realize that i do have great things and people in my life, that i've yet to cherish. i guess, i a brand new start is not bad afterall. (:

'nuff said. im at the hospital now, visiting ppl. so, shall update some other time. till then.

you're in my arms..
and all the world is gone
the music playing along for only two..
(:
but how can i face to face this dance,
if i shall lose u now..?

2008-01-09T21:10:00.000+08:00

and so, sch was okay today. omg. science was sucha headache. i feel like throwing magnets to the projector, laptop, even the faci. seriously, i was going bonkers due to the program that the teacher gave. nvm abt tht. wads over is over.
and tmr there's UT! G102. Omg. im so dead. i havent even study yet. i dunno which problems are coming out. omg omg omg!
okay. i think im gonna study now. really.
take care, peepos.(?)
ugh. hahah. LOVES.

2008-01-08T09:51:00.000+08:00

no wonder i have u as my best friend. yeah. really. at times like this, i mean.. all i need is a listening ear and someone to advice.
thanks so much for being there for me all the time and well.. i may be a "trouble" for you and you know.. let you think of some things that you would not want to think about. in a way, i do feel touched by what you said. i may not aprroach u in other matters. but matters like this only you and i kinda know abt it deep down.
and yes, love. i know that phrase. that was what i've been thinking of lately. remember how much i encourage u and keep you going when u are having doubts abt urself last time? yes, at that point of time i do feel strong. because things like this never happen. but when this thing strikes, never once i knew that i will feel this weak. i thought i can be as strong. i thought i could go thru this alone. i thought i could bear all the pain by myself. i thought i have all the answers to all my questions. but i was wrong. i was totally wrong. all i need is someone who can share my troubles with.
i do still feel abit sad because i was left hanging on my own without any answers to my questions. thanks to you, my love. at least im not in a haze anymore. at least i can continue with wad im left wif now. and i hope, with u arnd, things will just get better. (:

.... i apologize if i made u think of things that u dun want to. im so sorry.

2008-01-05T22:23:00.000+08:00

sometimes, all i really want to do is to scream + cry.

like wad i did last time at ECP.

seriously, i need nur aqidah with me. :(

2008-01-04T20:52:00.000+08:00

Aqidah: Eh eh. KPO seh! hahahahhaha! No lah. Busy........ rotting at home.! Hah. Take that. But no lah. Sch starting next week. Shucks. And i am so in the holiday mood still. Crap.
Anyway, nth much happenned lah. Really. I myself dunno wad to update. Just that i ate sushi today. That's all. LOL.

i made a mistake today. and i hate myself for that. ugh.

2008-01-03T15:58:00.000+08:00

There were times when i miss him. But there were also times when i really felt like putting and throwing things one side. I mean, seriously, things never felt much better after he left. As in.. well.. it seems like.. all door of happiness and opportunity opens up for me once again. Yeah, really. A feeling that i miss so much. The last time i felt it was when i am in sec 2/3.. somewhere there.. where i was being all myself.. no limits to what i am doing. With SC, cheerleading, Band.. It was as if.. i create wonders to my life all the time! I am not trying to say that with him arnd previously, he's sucha bore and doesnt care much. No. But all im trying to say is that i want someone who can share the things that i love to do. Like aqidah!! Someone who can even spice up things! Someone who is as adventurous as me, as "high" as me, as... ugh! Haha. I cant think! I am so looking forward to meeting new friends again and start everything new. Haha.

Alright. So yesterday went out awhile. Nth much happened though. Really, nth much. Shall update tmr, then. Haha.

& OMG. Sch's starting next week. HELP.