& my world will be coloured.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

i'm so scared.
i feel like crying.
i wanna turn back the time now.
God, please help me. Just this once. Please.

Fif ♥ 9:06 PM

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

TIME TO GO BACK TO SECONDARY SCHOOL MEMORIES.

they say that each picture says a thousand words. haha. mine, i think wil turn into a book someday. ahhaha. enjoy.

people, this is me. i took this photo during lunch break time. as what the photo states.. it's at 12.20, 05 oct. hhahaa. was on thurs. hahaha. must be waiting for next period or something. hahaha. i dunno. but i knw all of us were having a break. hahaha. and... i decided to tie my hair into 2 pony tails.. and yeah. tadah! hahhaha. lucky mr chin didnt see me doin that. or else.. u see that tie and collar pins there? all wil be confiscated. hahahahahahahhaha! this is such a classic photo lah!

hah. this. i swear i forgotten when i took this photo. but all i can remember is that we were early for band, (i think) hahhaa. and i asked aqidah to take this photo. the drumset was in the store room cause the conductors wanted the percussion to practice on their own. haha. and i was like asking aqidah. "eh, can take photo right?" hahha. i was scared that valerie or the conductors will like.. "what are u doing?!" hahahahahhahaa. god and aqidah knows what happened. ahahha.

i think this is before POP. shud be lah. cause i still remember my hair like that. hahahaha. i forgotten how this photo is taken.. but.. all i know is that i love my sectionn!! wuuuu! hahhaha. nurul was like.. " eh. take again! again!" hahhahhaha.

and this. POP. ahahhaha. (: i swear i like this photo. hahahaha. so the senior face. hahahaha. i remember that we were sweating like nobody's business!! (: hahahahahha. i like. i simply like. hahaha. and after that everyone was like.. "alah.. O levels. -.-" hahahhaha.

ahhhhh. hahahaha. nurul said. "eh, hug ar! hurrry!!!"

all time favourite. hahahhaha. (: aqidah looks sooooo aqidah. hahahha. i think she look like a total kid. haha. i mean, Qid. hahahahahahahha!

ok. here's student council. my second big family besides band. hahaha. basically these are all my cheerleaders. (: hahaha. i shant name them all. ahhahaa. but maria, she's the best of all lah. she accompanied me thru the good and bad times. i love love love her! ahahha. the rest too! im sure all of them have growned up alot! (: i miss them so much now..... ):

hmmm. team leaders! hahhaa. for the pulau ubin trip, i think. ahhahaa. shirah is in RP, same with me. i miss kasidah and her sexay voice. hahaha. i miss anita a.k.a tigress. ahahhaa. when she shout and got angry, i bet u wouldnt want to disturb her. hahaa. and there's hairil. i miss him carrying my bag during the student leader conventional thingy. i forgot. but he's sweet lah. ahhahahaha. good old memories! (:

hahahhahahahahahahhahahaha. everyone, look at the second from the right! hahha. here's our cheerleading moments at serangoon stadium. (: hahaha. we came from a long long way, i tell u. ahhaha. for the second time, albert, our third year cheerleading trainer, was shocked to see our stunts. its all so wrong! hahahhahahaha. kanages(h). hahaha. i miss her. i forgot how to spell her name. hahha. but she worked so close with me last time. a good spotter. (: i like!! hahahhaa we were forever doing spotter and giving encouragement to all. (: hahahhha.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. GIVE ME THAT BODY BACK! hahaha. this is at bedok. hahaha. maria's sister need cheerleaders for some running event and one of the minister was there, i think. yeah. hahhaa. and guess wad? we earned $50 each! wuuuuuu. hahahahahhaha!

and here's the rest of us. (: hahahhahahaa. taken during sunset. (: i loike!!! (: hhahah. me, namira, felicia, sze ping and maria. these girls, i LOVE. (:

i hope i could turn back the time. i dun mind taking O levels over and over again. hahahha. (: till then ppl. (: tmr, i shall post photos of me and dear during secondary sch.. hahahah! do keep a lookout! hahhahahaahaa. im sure u guys wanna seeeeee! ahhahaha. (: nights!

Fif ♥ 9:50 PM

Monday, July 21, 2008

life is so unfair. i know that's something cliche. but. it's funny to see how life turn their back on us sometimes.

just the other night i had another 1001 things to talk about. and i mean it. like a lot. but why does all those stuff simply come and go? its good that it comes and go. bt.. when it stuck in ur head, it will. and it may seem like forever.

all i know is that there are alot of things going on around me. i wish, i hoped, i prayed that i could stop the time. just for that moment, at least i can breathe.

everyone must have something that they should leave behind. if only everyone can take things that way.

nope. i got nothing else to say.

the only thing that im asking for now is that..
i hope music, which is my bestest companion of all, could console her. maybe, not only her, but everyone.

for a woman, when she got cheated for the first time, she thinks that she is naive. for the second time, she feels that she is innocent. but for the third time, she felt so foolish. however, for a guy, when he got cheated for the first time, it was an accident. for the second time, it was necessary and for the third time it was fated.

i dunno how much can i absorb the above. it depends how u look at it.

Fif ♥ 2:11 PM

Thursday, July 17, 2008

so.. today i went out with my siamese twin. she is oh-so-loved. she understand me inside out. i wish we could be childhood friends. like those in bollywood movies, where they grew up together in the same hometown and stuffs. sometimes, when comes to think about it, it is fun to have a best friend that could be your sister. hah. even though we did nothing much or wadever, her smile and laughter is enuff to cheer me up and bring my confidence to a whole new level. we've been friends since 13 and im so proud of that. i hope we could be like.. BFF+ F +F+ F +...... and the Fs goes on.

nothing much to write. here are some pictures. enjoy people. tgif tmr! (:

picture of the day.

her face is forever happy lah.

loooook at aqid's face!!!!! hahha.

kiss me no-goodbye. hahahaahahhahahahahahaha!

hahhaa. explain this.

random?

and yours sincerely. (:

Fif ♥ 10:03 PM

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

so i have a date with aqidah love on this thurs. haha! (: maybe KFC-ing with her. (: YAAY-ness. (: hahah.

and and and. 3 cheers for me, cause i completed that review. (: yes, oh yes. that online review. and mel said my justification was well done!!! I LOIKE. hahhahaa. bro love to hear me saying that. I LOIKE. hahha. (: so.. i think im visiting the musem with love one day. soon. cause i need to finish writing the story and report by 29 july. not much time, i can say. haha. this is one thing abt my course. all u got to do is talk, write, think. talk, write, think. nope. the list doesnt goes on. haha. LOL. ok. up next will be my PP draft. i need to submit it to andy by the 24th, which is like.... OMG. next week?! damn. ok. im in dead shit. for sure. can i like.. ask andy to postpone mine to somewad next next week? its 2000 words lah. shucks. nvm. i think i'll do it real soon. REAL soon. good god, help.

tmr im going out with love. (: yaay-ness. i told him i wanna go shoping. heee. (: but these few days he doesnt let me shop. grrr. cause he said i spent too much. bleah. well, if thats the case, this time round, i use my money.. hahaha! (: but still, when comes to paying, he will give me tht.. "aiyah, pity u. come lah, i pay" look. hahaha! so sweet. but i think seriously, he spend alot on me this month. not that i want him to pay, but he is doing it willingly. i told him that i wanna pay for my stuffs, buy he insisted. i told him i wanna pay, over and over again. but still, he paid for everything. hais hais. but when he says stop, means stop. haha. maybe i shud go treat him. but that time i alrd treated him to ramen ten. hahhaa. nice FOOD lah! nvm. this time round maybe i go treat him again. (: hahha. anw, DOES THAT MATTER? ahhaha. love, oh love. (:

so.. wad else? oh. today attended mel's lesson and after that went to window shop with syakir. haha. he seriously wanted that hoody shirt from ZARA. i told him to buy but in the end, both of us were having doubts abt it. hahaha. LOL. i saw a gorgeous dress from topshop, a top from dorothy perkins, another top from F21. seriously, they are calling for me. not call. maybe YELL is a better word. hahah! (: wel, see how it goes tmr. (:

hahha. ok then. i wanna go do other stuffs. RJ done, evaluation done! (: gooody good. hahaha. (: nite, ppl. :D

Fif ♥ 9:36 PM

Monday, July 14, 2008

so today, i had this super stupid stomache. i was on the way to sch and blah blah blah. ):

i didnt meet my dearest cousin Syakir. ): tmr i shall meet him then. and mel's lesson tmr. there's another writing lab but i have not done a single thing yet. omg omg. and the best thing is, the deadline is tmr. yeah. im dead, minus the line. ugh. LAME.

i accompanied love to polyclinic awhile, to take his MC. he missed his test just now. Thanks to............................................... ugh. nvm. hahhaha. (:

and now, i think i really need to start on my writing lab. haha. (; gtg den. (: tooodles.

Fif ♥ 8:50 PM

Friday, July 11, 2008

CHANGE.

nope, it's not something random at all. change is something that all of us will go through one day, at any point of our life. the thing is, sometimes, we dunno how, when and why it happened. im sure all these things are beyond our control.

nope. it's not abt my bf. gerald is doing well. just that some people that i knew so far.. CHANGED. for better or worse, we shall see. time will tell all. its not that i dun like it. but.. maybe.. im so not use to it. wadever it is, i just want them to be happy.

nvm. let's move on.

so today i went to sch as per normal. attended sam's class. omg. her teaching was SOO boring like mad. ugh! omg omg omg. i nearly fell asleep down there. as wad barty said in msn just now, just patronize her lah. LOL.

and yeah. after class head down to syak's class at w2. davis showed some GREAT magic. zheng hao and i was like laughing like mad. hahaha. alex was forever disturbing me, faz is forever singing, shawn forever picking on me. hahhaha. rabia? forget it. shall talk abt that some other time. im disappointed with her. really. i hope she could be back on track again soon. anw, hahha. i had fun with davis. he was showing his moves in magic. hahahhaa. seriously, zheng hao and i was like.. "wtf? " ahhahaha. alex lah. he also give me the jitters. hahahha.

in the end, went back with faz, farouq, zheng hao, alex and syakir. hahhaa. took train with syakir and farouq. when i stood near farouq, i realized how tall he is. well, actually, he is not that bad lah. ahhaha. LOL. i hope izzati wunt curse me for saying that. sorry izzati! (: hahaha. yeah. and farouq seeems humorous too. (: look how life is playing with u. in just a blink of an eye, u meet new frends and another door of happiness opens! (: hahaha.

ok. that was all for sch. well, there are alot of MBT (must blog thing). but i cant seem to remember! shit. nvm. syakir, if u can remember, do update! haha.

ok. so nic(4e3) wanted to organize a gathering for his bdae. love was invited. but in the end, they cancelled it. not many can make it. haha. we've bought a present for him. hope love can pass it to him when he is free. hahaha. i really wanna go out with love. but he is just too busy with his stuffs. and i think.. we went out alot of times alrd, this month (i think). HAHHA.

ok. tmr i heard my family and i will be going out with cik imah. i dunno how true is that. hahha. (: i miss her. so, i dun mind, actually.

*shit. it's 12 am alrd. just checked the time. oh my god. shall i type things as .. tmr? ugh. i hate this. hahahah. nvm just ignore me. night syndrome have their first attack.* RANDOM.

yah. so tmr maybe going out with cik imah. but i heard dad wanna go fishing too. omg. i dunno lah. aiyoh. hahha. but tmr i need to do some cleaning! hahhah. ((: in the morning, of coz. hahha.
and yes! morning. i need to collect my dorothy perkins skirt. i went to the interchange to get the zip changed. hahaha. dunno wad happened to it. hello? that cost me $5 bucks. hahaha.

and and and.. aqidah-darling participating in NBC tmr! all the best to her. she msged me awhile ago saying that she is scared. yeah. i think she is. if not, she wuldnt beep me. hahahha. she promised to tell me the results. i'll be the first to know! wuuu. hahaha. ((: JY! break a leg!

ok then. i think nth much more to update. ok. here's photos (: me, and dear. i think it's been a while since i put a photo of both of us together. haha. (: take care! enjoy ur weekends!

Fif ♥ 11:46 PM

Saturday, July 5, 2008

I MISS MY FREAKING LONG HAIR.

H-E-L-P.

Fif ♥ 4:11 PM

Friday, July 4, 2008

let me tell u a story. but WARNING: THIS STORY CAN ONLY BE UNDERSTOOD BY MUHAMMAD SYAKIR BIN SELAMAT. (:

once upon a time, there is a girl name fifah. one day, she went shopping with her dearest cousin, syakir. while they were walking, suddenly, fifah saw one shop which sell dresses. she decided to go in.

she browsed and browsed and finally, she saw this one pure, white, gorgeous dress. the moment she grab hold of it, she knew that dress will transform her looks and.... it will be somethin new in her closet.

so she wore it, make full use of it and kept it for 2 years. however, one day, when she went for another round of shopping with her cousin, she saw another dress. this time round, the dress looks weird, looks alienatic, looks funny. But somehow or rather, she seems to be attracted to that dress. She asked Syakir whether she should buy it.

"If u like it, den go ahead. But are u sure abt it? It looks FUNNY, ALIENATIC, WEIRD. No matter what, the decision is urs," said syakir.

Fifah gave it a try and she turn and look at the dress for the next 20 mins. She's in dilemma. Should she rent the dress? Or should she keep using the dress that she bought 2 years ago? Or should she have both in her closet? Should she give away her old dress? Fifah needs your help. There is something about that weird dress..........

...... to be continued.

BY THE WAY, SYAKIR, WHEN YOU READ THIS, DON'T ADD ON ANY FORM OF ELEMENTS IN THE STORY PLEASE. (:

Fif ♥ 11:10 AM

Thursday, July 3, 2008

omg. where can i start? hmmmmmmmmm...

so just now.. 1 whole day i chatted with kak nurul. ahahha. she is soooo sweet lah. hahahha. ((: we talked abt europe, to food, to whatever u can imagine. ahahhahaahha. ok. had UT today. nth surprising. except for the stupid Nike ad. i duno wad is the message they are trying to deleiver across. i knw wad medium it is, but ugh. nvm.

hahhaa. so today i met syakir after UT. and ** did something which seriously gave me those goosebumps again. saw ** when the lift at level 5 opens. hah! i feel like laughing + crying after wad he just did. and i told syakir the whole story thing. well, not surprisngly, my dearest cousin was shocked + surprised. hahhahaha. i told him abt the dreams too. hahahha. i duno whether i can face ** from today onwards. ugh. good god. help. hah.

wad else.. wad else...

oh. tmr i heard we have a family gathering at punggol. syahmi's bdae. hahha. well......... if its confirmed, mayeb syakir and i head down there together after sch. hahha.

aqidah love is askin whether i wanna go JBF. i sooooo wanna go, pls.

hmmmm... i did my module selection just now. and... i took theatre appreciation as my freely chosen module. hahaha. it's abt appreciating stage, u knw.. literature stuffs. i bet chris will love love love this. hahaha. well, he might think that all the stage in the world belongs to him. cause seriously, he acts like a totally drama freak. hahah!

i got no photos to update. i know. sounds pathetic. hah. nvm. tmr i take loads and loads of photos. (i hope)!

ok den. i think i shalll stop here. hahahhaa. tmr's fri and im soo looking forward to weekends. oh pls, god. make time go faster~!

Fif ♥ 9:28 PM

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

i dunno how to put this. but seriously, it's not that i dun want her to change. somethin in her simply freaks me out. but nvm. someone might be feeling the same way as i do right now.

just last night i have 1001 things to update. but right now, it seems like there's nothing but simply worries, problems and work. omg. i dunno wad i should be doing. seriously, everything is in a mess and i dunno where to begin with, to start things all over again. school has been fine, cousins are doing great, family is awesome. but somewhere, somewhat, somethin is disturbing me. i dunno. ugh. i need to stop crapping in here.

i was disappointed at that time, but since u didnt call me back, as in, ask me to be with u once again, den i will never want to bother anymore. i had my part to play. and i think i did it. i dunno what specifically went wrong but out of the 24 months so far, i never been hurt like this. never. and i think this will take time to heal. u did something WRONG. and i mean it. WRONG. and i have to take the blame, to cool things down. wtf. no way im gonna do tat. no way. as for now, i dun want to be the girl who seems so 'desperate' and willing to give in. it's time to let u feel what im going thru. even if this will take forever, im gonna let it go, somehow or rather. happy 25th, btw.

Fif ♥ 10:12 AM